


Stained Glass

by kolxhero_0



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Bad Ending, Blood and Gore, M/M, Rape/Non-con Elements, Self-Harm, Self-Hatred, Toxic Relationship, alternative universe
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-16
Updated: 2021-01-19
Packaged: 2021-03-14 03:48:34
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 18
Words: 33,415
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28788987
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kolxhero_0/pseuds/kolxhero_0
Summary: Toris has begun his new job as a caretaker at Markham Asylum. He only has one patient, Ivan Braginski.
Relationships: America/Lithuania (Hetalia), Lithuania/Russia (Hetalia)
Comments: 2
Kudos: 12





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Original was posted in 2012-2013.  
> It is completed, will be uploading slowly.
> 
> -kolxhero-0

He looked to the sky. The sun was hidden behind grey clouds, typical. Toris waited patiently at the bus stop. He had made sure to arrive early as to not miss his ride to work. Today was to be the first day as a caretaker at Markham Asylum. He had been sent to one of the worst institutions in the country, but that was what made it more exciting. Perhaps he could help turn its reputation around. Once again he sighed checking his watch for the time. The second hand seemed to move slowly as it swept over the twelve and began another lap. His gaze shifted to his feet. A pair of old white sneakers peeked out from under his green scrubs. The soles were worn and the laces frayed. He probably should have bought a new pair, but they were sentimental to him. His mother had given them as a gift when he had started his internship. It had already been two years since her passing. She had always supported him in everything he did.  
  
Toris grew up in a single parent household. His father had died in an accident when he was very young, so he had never really had a father figure. He was an only child and his mother was sickly. He had always taken care of her best he could. It was not a burden, he quite enjoyed doing the cooking and did not mind doing chores. But his favorite thing was bringing a smile to his frail mother's face. This was his inspiration for his aspiration. He wanted to help people and make them happy.  
  
"Hey Kid!" A scruffy voice sounded. Toris' green eyes shot up to meet those of a elderly black man in the driver seat of the bus. It hummed softly. "You riding?"  
  
"Oh, y-yes!" Toris answered scrambling up the steps and slipped money into the collection box. The door shut with a loud screech. He wondered how he had not heard it open.  
  
He headed to the back of the bus. There were a few snickers as he passed the other passengers to a free spot. Most likely because they thought he was a male nurse and well, he was. However he preferred the term, "caretaker". It was a common reaction. He took a seat and the bus lurched forward. Toris stared out the window until a loud eager sounding voice caught his attention.  
  
"Yo buddy!" He looked up to find two shiny blue orbs peering down at him from the top of the seat. His hair was blond and he had glasses. A big smile was stretched across his face. It was mischievous and contagious. Toris found himself smiling back.  
  
"H-hi."  
  
"You're headed for the Asylum, right?" The man asked. A couple of other passengers looked in there direction, he was practically yelling. Toris blushed and hunched down. He did not understand why the man had to speak so loudly.  
  
"Yes, I am."  
  
"KNEW IT! Ha-ha-HAA!" The burst of laughter sent an older woman's cold glare over to them. It was directed straight at Toris. He sunk lower in his seat, startled, when a hand was thrust down to him. "My names Alfred, I am the janitor at Markham. I am in charge of cleaning up everyone else's shit, sometimes literally."  
  
"Uh, Toris. I am a new caretaker, starting today." He replied shaking his hand firmly. A small smile crossed his lips. "Nice to meet you."  
  
"Your accent, it aint English. Where you from?" The man moved to the empty seat beside Toris. He was dressed in a brown uniform with a photo'd name badge pinned to his shirt.  
  
"Lithuania."  
  
"...right." Alfred said with no clue where that was and up til now, did not know there was a place called that.  
  
"Are you, American?" Toris guessed. If not, he was definitely from the place above it. He strained to remember the name of the country. Canadia?  
  
"Fuck yeah!" The American said proudly. That strange laugh of his followed and Toris chuckled a little at his response. "I came here to help my brother out. He is one of the doctors at the place and no-one else was crazy enough to take the job. I guess, in a way you could call me a 'hero.'"  
  
"Ah, I see." Toris said with a slight nod.  
  
The bus came to a halt in front of the large Psychiatric Hospital. It was an old building with several floors. The building had been in use for over a hundred years and was showing its age. It was a tad eerie looking. Vines clung to the brick and crept up the sides of the entrance. Toris wondered what kind of plant they were and if maybe they bore flowers in the spring. Alfred sighed and stood.  
  
"Well, time to get to work." He said leaving the bus. Toris followed close behind surprised by how tall the American was compared to him.  
  
He was a little more intimidated by the building as he stood before the massive entrance. Several other employees walked passed him. None of them younger than 30 it seemed. He entered through the double doors to a waiting room like area. At a desk sat three older women. The desk was centered in-between two doors. Toris figured one was for the West wing and the other the East. Alfred hurried up to the eldest of the women and flashed his badge.  
  
"Hey babe." He said flashing a grin. The woman looked annoyed then a buzzer sounded, allowing Alfred through the door on the right side. "See yah later, Tori!" He said with a laugh and darted inside. Toris heard several people yell, "Don't run," from the other side.  
  
He swept his brown locks behind his ears and took a big breath as he walked up to the same woman. Holding his badge up to her as well he smiled down at her trying to be friendly.  
  
"Laurinaitis?" The woman read looking up at the young man. "You are new?"  
  
"Y-yes ma'am." He replied. The woman's cold brown eyes were very intimidating.  
  
"Good luck." She mumbled pressing the buzzer.  
"Th-thank you." Toris said his smile growing a little, though the woman's face stayed blank. He walked through the same door as Alfred had. The door shut behind him.  
  
The room he stood in was the Common Room 1. He had taken a tour of the building a week prior, he was glad he did. The building was large and it was easy to get lost. A few patients were watching TV in the corner. It was still very early so he did not expect there to be many up yet. He moved past them and down a white hallway to a locked door. Swiping his card, the light turned green and he entered. He hurried up the steps and climbed to the 3rd level where he swiped his card once again entering another common room. Common Room 3. It looked the same as the first except it was faced the opposite way. No patients were here in this one though. Only a few orderlies leaning up against the counter in the safe room, some preparing morning medication. A few looked at him. They all seemed middle aged and some were even older. Toris waved, but got nothing in return. He dropped his hand and went off down one of the branching hallways to the secured doctor's hallway to meet Dr. Kirkland.  
  
Dr. Kirkland was the new head doctor in the hospital. He was young and hopeful about turning around the hospitals reputation, just like Toris. Maybe that was why he had hired him. Actually he was positive that was why. He knocked on the door to his office and the door creaked open as he did.  
  
"Oh." The doctor said seeing the man before him. "Mr. Laurinaitis." They shook hands. The British man stood at about the same height as himself. His hair a yellow blond. It looked untamed, as did his eyebrows that framed bright green eyes. He smiled showing his slightly crooked teeth. "Nice to see you again. I was just on my way to see if you had arrived. Please, come in and take a seat."  
  
"Nice to see you too."  
  
He lead Toris inside and sat at his desk. Toris sat in one of the chairs on the other side quietly. He looked around the room. A bookshelf sat behind the doctor filled with books and mementoes. On walls hung documents and certifications framed in elaborate picture frames. The desk was stacked with files and papers. A photo caught his eye. It was of Dr. Kirkland and a man behind him giving the shorter man rabbit ears. He knew the other man, Alfred? This must be his brother, he thought. Kirkland noticed him looking at the photograph and cleared his throat.  
  
"Here is your patient. I apologize about giving you his file so late. As we discussed last week, starting Wednesday you will be staying here at the facility. He is tough and I think a one-on-one relationship would work well with him. You will be his roommate and caretaker." The doctor placed a file down on the table. "His name is Ivan Braginski." Toris opened the file. A man smiled up at him from a small fuzzy photo. Messy ashy blond hair half covered his pale face. He saw the man had violet eyes and Toris squinted his own. It must have been a problem with the photo. "He is in room 862. Most likely he is awake, I do not know much about him. I am his primary, but I have not seen him yet. However, his pervious caretaker and primary quit because of him. I do not know the details, they are most likely in the file. But who knows, they have not been recording the patients well. That is about to change, starting now."  
  
Toris thanked Kirkland for the assignment and the doctor wished him luck. He read the file as he walked to the facility room to put his things in a locker. It seemed not much was known about the patient other than he was Russian and had a severe breakdown in a public place. Injuring ten people in his fit. Three had been hospitalized and other attacks on orderlies were reported. The man must be dangerous. He would have to be careful. The file did not have his age, but he figured it was close to his own by the picture.  
  
He headed back to the common room. Patients were being given there medication. They were lined up in front of a nurse holding a tray of cups. Another stood beside her with larger cups of water. His patient did not seem to be in the line, he wondered if he should ask for his medication for him since he was headed for him room. However he decided not to. They were busy, he would get them after he introduced himself.  
  
He went down the hallway that was labeled 800-870 and stopped in front of room 862. The door was half open. It was dark inside, but he could make out a large figure sitting on the bed from where he stood. He knocked and the man looked over. His eyes, they were purple. The picture was not lying. Toris thought, then remembered a disorder he read about once. Alexandria's Genesis? He thought it was a myth, considering there was only one reported case he had heard of.  
  
"Hello, my name is Toris. I will be your caretaker, starting today." He said cheerfully, starring into those dark violet eyes. The man's face twisted into a smile. Teeth gleaming in the light. "May I come in?"  
  
"Da." Ivan said. His voice was calm and higher than one would expect from a man his size.  
  
"You are Ivan?" Toris asked, but he already knew who he was. Ivan nodded. He walked in and sat on the chair by the bed. The man was secured to the frame with restraints, but he could move within a short range. Ivan observed the man before him curiously. He must not have known why he was hooked down.  
  
"I almost killed him." The Russian explained. Green eyes moved from looking at the ties, back to his face. His eyes were hopeful and they very bright, almost too bright for Ivan to look at. "These, you are curious about them, da?" He said pulling on one of the cloth cuffs.  
  
"O-oh, I-"  
  
"The idiot. One more minute and I would have had him." Ivan's voice deepened and his smile intensified. Toris shivered a little, but stayed calm. He cleared his throat to speak.  
  
"I will be with you for now on. I hope we will become good friends." The Lithuanian smiled as he spoke. Ivan wondered why he looked so happy to see him. No-one was ever happy to see him. Maybe someone had lied to him or was playing a cruel joke. "Is something wrong?"  
  
"...no." Ivan said shaking his head. The brown-haired man reminded him of someone, someone from his past. However, he was insane, what did he know? "They tell me you will be staying here with me?" He flashed a look over to the empty bed on the other side of the room.  
  
"Yes, huh, Wednesday I will be moving in. You do not mind sharing your room, do you?" The Russian was slightly amused, as if he had a choice in the matter.  
  
"No. I do not mind." Ivan huddled his legs to his chest and sighed. "However, I will warn you now. I am not a very good roommate, so do not expect much."  
  
"You are Russian, yes?" Toris asked after a brief moment of silence.  
  
"Yes, I am from Moscow."  
  
"Ah, a beautiful city." The Lithuanian said recalling his short visit there a few years ago. Ivan's eyes went dark and glared at the small framed man in front of him.  
  
"Not where I grew up." He said coldly. Toris was startled by his reaction and nervously tried to change the subject.  
  
"I-I am from Lithuania." His voice wavered.  
  
"Mmm, I spent some time there when I was younger." Ivan said smiling. "I watched lanterns loose their light. I watched as they went dim and I laughed as they did so. It was beautiful, but one flew away." His eyes drifted upwards as he watched the invisible lantern dissappear into the ceiling. Toris was not sure what the man was talking about, but he was happy he was talking to him and no longer glaring.  
  
"I will get your pills for you." He stood and smiled. Ivan's eyes snapped back to the long-haired man's. Something was wrong with one of those hopeful orbs, the left one was different. He was sure of it.  
  
"Da." Ivan agreed and the man left. He continued to stare at the spot his face had been, even when the Lithuanian had gone. The left one, something was definitely wrong with it.


	2. Chapter 2

Toris returned back to the Common Room and approached the nurse carrying the tray of pills. She was older than himself, but still young. Her long brown hair was pulled back with a few flower clips and a headband.

"Hi, could I please have Ivan Braginski's medication? I am his caretaker." He smiled at her and she smiled back.

"Braginski? Ah, tough cookie. Here you are and make sure he takes them. He likes to hide them." She handed him the cup.

"Thank you." He took the pills and a cup of water then headed back to room 862. Ivan was still staring at the spot the man's head had been previously. His eyes shot to Toris who stood in the doorway. "I-Ivan, is it alright if I turn the lights on?" Toris asked a tad startled. Ivan nodded quietly and sat at the edge of the bed.

Toris switched on the lights. The room was white and quit bare, except for a few trinkets on the small dresser. He walked to the man on the bed and handed him the pills and water. Ivan took them greedily and swallowed them down. After, he handed the cup back and Toris threw it in the trash. In the light Ivan could be seen clearly. He was a very muscular man. His face was round and lacked any facial hair. It was similar to that of a child's, except his nose was a bit on the large side. Ivan smiled and dimples appeared in his cheeks. He peered up at the man before him. His striking purple eyes gleaming in the fluorescent lighting.

"Would you like to talk for awh-"

"Tell me, Toris. Where did you acquire the chip in your tooth." Ivan asked pointing a chubby finger at his own toothy grin. He watched the Lithuanian move a hand to the back of his neck and look away. His cheeks gained a little color in them. Ivan found this amusing.

"I-It was from an accident when I was young." Toris replied taking a seat on the chair next to the bed. He always was self-conscious about the tooth. Especially since it was so near the front of his mouth. It was his left canine and it was broken at an angle making the tip a sharp point. He avoided showing his teeth smiling because of it. It was from that time...

"I am sorry, I have made you upset." Ivan said sighing. "It is barely noticeable. Also it gives you character, da?"

"Oh, no. It is okay." Toris said with a smile. "It happened along time ago so I am u-Ah!" Ivan had grabbed his face and was squeezing his cheeks together. His hand's were cold. He leaned close examining the green-eyed man's face carefully.

His face was very feminine. Lightly tanned skin and a thin nose with flared nostrils. His dark bangs fell over one of his eyes like a curtain. He swept them back behind his ear revealing the dimmer of the two. The left eye was glazed over appearing almost milky. Ivan moved his thumb under the man's eye and pulled the lid downward.

"This eye, you cannot see?" Toris's eyes widened and he pulled away. His hair returned to hide his imperfection. "Is that from the accident as well?"

"... I-I am going to get you some br-breakfast." Toris hurried out of the room shaking. Not because of the man grabbing him like that, but...because he was forced to remember something, he wished not to remember. He held a hand to his eye.

* * *

"Aaaah!" He cried out again as the whip was forced upon his back. "St-stop, please! I will do whatever you say, just stop!"

Blood dripped down his aching body. How long he had been in this hell? He did not know any longer. The ropes around his wrists cut into him. There was a loud crack as the leather hit. He screamed, more tears streaming down his cheeks. A hand snatched his hair and pulled him off the floor.

"Those eyes, they are still so bright." The man spoke in a melodic voice. His face was partially illuminated by the multicolored light pouring in from the dusty church windows. Red stained eyes looked into terrified green ones. He threw the boy down smiling behind his scarf. Walking to his bag of 'toys' sitting on the chair in the center of the small room, he pulled a long metal object. It gleamed menacingly. "I can fix that." He chuckled deeply as he took a practice swing.

* * *

"Tori? H-hey, buddy is something wrong? You alright dude? HELLO?" Toris returned to reality and looked to who was speaking to him. Alfred was waving his hand in his face. "You okay pal?" Alfred asked worried. He had a mop in hand and was cleaning the floor to the cafeteria.

"I am fine, j-just I woke up early today and zoned out." Toris said giving the man a smile. It was weak. The American did not buy it for a minute. He lifted and eyebrow at the man in disbelief.

"Riiiight. So, you taken food to the Russian?" Alfred said looking at the tray in Toris' hands. Toris looked surprised, he had forgotten.

"Yes, it is for Ivan...w-wait, how did you kn-"

"Word flies quick in this place." He said and nodded over to the brown haired nurse Toris had gotten Ivan's pills from earlier. "Anyways, I wish you luck with that guy. He's a bastard and is always making messes. Also, he won't eat that shit. I won't even eat the food in this place." Alfred walked off pushing the mop in front of him and Toris headed back to Ivan's room.

"Here you are Ivan." Toris smiled and placed the tray on the side table next to the Russian's bed. Ivan was quick to knock the it onto the floor, splattering oatmeal over Toris' sneakers. "H-hey!" He exclaimed taking a step back. "Why did you do that for?"

"Food here is no good." Ivan said watching the man bend over and remove his shoes.

"Even so, there is no need to make a mess." He took the hankerchief from his pocket and wiped them. Red blotches covered his socks.

"You are bleeding." The blood was hypnotizing. He stared at it in fascination as the spots grew bigger.

"Hhm?" Toris looked up from his cleaning.

"Your feet."

"Ah, O-oh!" The man sat on the bed that was to be his in a few days time. He removed his socks. Open blisters covered them. Ivan got up from his bed and sat on his knees in front of him. "How did you get out of the re-Owww..." Toris winced as the man took hold of one of his injured feet. Some of the wounds were not new and there were scars from past injures.

"Why do you continue to wear these shoes, if they hurt you?" Ivan asked. "Do you like the pain they cause you?"

"I-I..." Toris' face went red. Ivan lowered his head and licked a trail blood that was dripping. The warm metallic fluid hit his tongue. It sent a shiver down his spin. How long had it been since he had tasted?

"Hey you damn Commie!" Ivan took a side glance to the door. It was the American janitor. He hated the man with a passion. "What the hell are you doing?" Alfred said pushing the large man away from Toris. "Tori, you alright buddy?" He asked looking over his shoulder at the flustered Lithuanian. Toris nodded.

"His name is Toris." Ivan said standing. He was taller than the Alfred, but not by much.

"I know what his name is Bastard!" Alfred lied crossing his arms. He was not good with names. He often even forgot his step brother's. "What I call him is cooler."

"What you call him is a girls name. Although he is as pretty as one, I cannot imagine he enjoys being called that."

"No it aint! It is an awesome nickname for him!"

"Just as 'Idiot' is good for you, da?" Ivan smiled.

Uh, n-no fighting." Toris said nervously. He gave them a small smile. "I am alright. Ivan was just helping me bandage my feet. I wore these old shoes and they gave me blisters." Alfred looked to the man's feet and saw the sores. He turned back to the Russian.

"Still doesn't excuse you from the mess you made! "Alfred scolded. "Every fucking day you d-"

"The mess is mine." Toris interrupted. Those blue eyes looked at Toris surprised. "I tripped and dropped it, I am sorry. I will clean it up, so you do not have to worry about it."

"Fine." The American sighed and headed for the exit. "This guy gives you any problems, let me know Tori-is." He said taking time to glare at Ivan before he left. Pushing his mop bucket down the hall.

Ivan was not sure what the brown haired man was playing at. Why would he lie to the stupid American? It did not make any sense at all. Perhaps he was getting rid of him, because he also found him annoying. He watched Toris begin to replace his shoes and he grabbed them away. Toris was dumbfounded.

"Why did you-?"

"They hurt you. You should not wear them." The Russian said tossing them aside. They rolled to a stop near the empty dresser. He turned away and walked to his bed. Reaching underneath it to retrieve something. His hands found the fuzzy white rabbit slippers his sister's had gotten him for Christmas and threw them to the Lithuanian. "You wear those. I know they are girly, but I do not have any other ones."

"No-no, I think they are cute." Toris said blushing. "I-I do not want to get them dirt-"

"It is fine." Ivan said.

"B-but I-"

"If you do not put them on, I will put them on for you." He watched the man twitch and knew he did not want that.

"Thank you." Toris said. He slipped them onto his bare feet and smiled. The small bitty eyes of the two rabbits looked up at him. They felt wonderful on his injured feet. Warm and comfy. He wiggled his toes in bliss. Ivan smiled wide and chuckled.

"They suit you." He sat next to him on the bed.

"Eh...thank you?" Toris replied his face turning crimson. "...d...did one of your parents also have violet eyes?" He asked trying not to stare at the man.

"No." The Russian said. "However, my little sister has these eyes as well. She is in the female wing. Perhaps they are from being insane, da? My older sister, she has blue. Mine used to be blue as well, but they changed." He looked down at his hands. His light colored hair hung down over his face. "Do you think, your eyes can be stained?"

"I-it is a condition called Alexandria's Genesis actually. It is extremely rare, I thought it did not exist until I saw you. You and your sister are very special." Toris explained smiling. Ivan looked at the green-eyed man curiously and then began to laugh.

"You say funny things." He said picking the dirt from his nails. "Tell me, how old do you think I am?"

"Eh, well..." Toris knew that his condition may make him appear younger than he was. He for a moment. "Twenty-five?" He guessed low. Figuring the man could be no more than 3 years older than himself, even with his disorder.

"I have been here for ten years Toris, and I have not aged a second more since I have arrived." Ivan said with a grin. "It is as if time wants nothing to do with me, just like the rest of the world."

"That is also normal with people diagnosed with Alexandria's Genesis. Your ageing process is different."

"Normal?" Ivan repeated and looked to the ceiling. He followed the cracks with his eyes with a short chuckle. "Normal and I, we do not exist on the same wavelength." This man, he knew him. He spoke the same as... "Toris, you are the special one."

"I am nothing special."

"Do not lie. I know this, because we have met before." His violet eyes shifted to look at Toris' dead eye. "I remember you, my lantern. "


	3. Chapter 3

"W-what?" Toris stuttered scooting away from Ivan who sat next to him. "I am sorry, but I do not remember you if we did meet."

"Ah, but you do." Ivan said grabbing the man's arm firmly. "You just, do not want to remember."

* * *

He leaned against the wall. The coolness of the stone gave him a small amount of comfort. The man had finally let him be, for now. His body was numb from the beating. He had not seen himself, but knew it was pretty bad. At least he had been untied. The boy rubbed his wrists where the rope had dug into him. They were bruised and crusted with blood. He jumped as the old wooden door of the small room was unlocked. The light burned his eyes when the door opened.

"Good morning." The man said. He had his scarf pulled up past his nose. In his hand he carried a cup. He walked inside and bent down in front of the boy holding the cup to him.

"G-good morning." The boy lied. What was good about it? Stuck another day in the darkness. He kept his eyes down and took the cup. There was a strong smell of alcohol as he peered into colorless liquid. His eyes looked up to the scarfed man. "...V-vodka?"

"Yes, it will ease the pain." He said with a kind voice. Kind? What a joke. The boy took a sip and shivered. "I ruined your pretty little face, didn't I?" The man touched the side of the boy's face gently. "A shame."

"P-please sir, let me go. My mother she is sickly, I am all she has." The green-eyed boy pleaded. His hair hung in his face, it had grown to be so long.

"Oh my, how unfortunate." One of the man's hands came down and petted the boy upon the head. "hush, hush. I brought you clothes to wear today." He smiled and pointed to a pile of black lacey clothing. "For now on, you will be the maid." The man stood and held the small dress up." Stand, I will help you dress. "The boy did as he was told. Standing naked before his kidnaper, he took the dress and stepped into it. The man zipped it up in the back. It was short. The nearly see-through fabric barely covered the boy's manhood. The man came behind the youngster and hugged him close. "You look beautiful, my Anastasia."

* * *

Toris shook his head and got up from the bed. "You are m-mistaken!" He said trying to banish the memories back from where they had come. The man before him could not possibly the same one as from back then. There was no way it could be him. Ivan snatched his wrist and pulled the smaller man to him.

"Why do you not want to remember me?" The Russian smiled up at the terrified man. "Do you remember the name I gave you?" He kissed the back of Toris' hand softly.

"I have n-never met you until today." Toris struggled against the older man's grip. Ivan released him and sighed deeply.

"Da, perhaps I am wrong." He looked at his hands and smirked. "Anastasia."

Toris' heart skipped a beat. This man was... how could it be HIM? He backed out of the room and ran for it. Running down the hall and into the common room. His retreat was halted at the stairs. Having to swipe his card, he searched his pockets hastily. People were beginning to stare. He felt their gazes on the back of his neck. Where is it? Had he left it?

"Are you alright?" A mellow woman's voice asked. He turned to find the brown haired woman from earlier standing before him. She looked at him concerned. His frightened expression mirrored in her light hazel eyes. Toris sighed and smiled. Trying to calm himself for both their sakes.

"Yes, I am just not feeling well. Also, I have seemed to have misplaced my card somewhere. I think I left it in I-Ivan's room."

"Come with me kido." The woman said sighing. She dragged him with her by his sleeve.

"O-okay."

Toris walked with her. She was taller than himself and also very strong for a woman. Yet, Toris was a shorter man so this was a normal occurrence. Her hair swished back and forth keeping time with her footsteps. They made a turn into the men's facility restroom. He blushed hard when she nonchalantly walked in with him.

"Alright cutie, try to relax." She said placing a wet rag atop his head and pushed him into a stall. He sat on the toilet seat keeping his eyes down to the floor.

"Thank you." He said quietly. "I am sorry, I d-did not catch your name. Mine is Toris."

"Oh, I am Elizaveta, but you can call me Liz."

"That is a very pretty name." Toris said truthfully. He smiled up at her and she laughed a little.

"If you say so sweetie." She had her cell phone out and began to text. "I have to get back to work, but I told Al and he's on his way. You take an easy, alright?"

"Y-yes. Thank you again." The brunette said in nearly a whisper. Liz hurried out of the bathroom to return to her post leaving Toris in the bathroom alone.

He got up and walked to the mirror. His eyes fixed on his own green orbs. He examined himself closely as though he was a stranger. This man looking back at him, if you could even call him a man. He was afraid, lip quivering as if he had seen a ghost. His fear quickly turned to rage and punched the man who was starring back at him forcefully. The reflection shattered. Pieces cut into the back of Toris' hand, but he did not pull away. Blood dripped down the mirror and onto the faucet, befittingly. The pain he felt made him shiver with pleasure.

"Why? THAT MONSTER!!" He snarled and licked the wound. His blood was sweet and made his mouth water. How Toris loved the painful stinging, the delicious taste. "You did this to me! Bastard!" Shouting at the top of his lungs, he dropped to his knees sobbing.

"T-Toris! Hey pal, calm down." Alfred rushed to his side and wrapped an arm around him. He rubbed the sobbing man's back, trying to give him comfort. "It will be alright." Toris looked up at Alfred tears streaming down his cheeks. He wondered how long the man had been in the room with him. How much did he see?

"I-I am o-oka..." Toris tried to say, but could not. Nothing was okay right now. Alfred did not know what was going on, but he would try his best to help.

"You're bleeding pretty badly." The blond removed his shirt and wrapped the injured hand. "We better take you to the hospital."

"No! Please, I-I do not need that." It was true, he probably should have gone. However, he did not want the doctors to ask how he had gotten the wound or see his previous self-inflicted injuries.

"...fine." Alfred said after a long trail of silence. He looked worried. "But, I think I should take you home. You come to my place, alright?"

"You do not have to do that." Toris wiped his eyes on his arm.

"Nonsense! We'd be happy to have you!" Alfred stood and helped Toris to his feet.

"alright." Toris said defeated. He knew if he did not stay with the man, he would end up hurting himself again. Besides he did not want Alfred to come to his place. He had not cleaned up last night and would die of embarrassment if anyone saw the mess.

They left the building and took a taxi to Alfred's brother's house. It was a large estate just outside the bustle of the city. The house was an off-white and older. It had several pillars and a massive front door. Windows were abundant and evenly distributed between three floors. Alfred paid the taxi driver, then walked up the numerous steps quickly. Toris followed, finding it a little difficult to keep up.

"Well, this is Arthur's place." The American said walking inside.

Toris was amazed. The house was richly decorated in an old fashioned Victorian style. It was as if time had stood still. Deep maroon, golds, browns, creams, and emerald green brilliantly showcased. It reminded him of a castle.

"This is a lovely home." Toris said smiling and observing the paintings on the wall depicting past relatives of the Kirkland family.

"Arthur would be happy to hear that." Alfred said smirking. He lead Toris to the abnormally large green bathroom and had him sit on the counter. In the cabinet below the sink he retrieved the first aid kit and sat it next to him.

"I met with Dr. Kirkland earlier today. I saw the picture of you two in his office."

"He still has that in there?" Alfred laughed. He began to clean and remove the pieces of glass from Toris' wound. "It is from a long time ago."

"If you do not mind me asking, how are you two related?" Toris trembled as the first piece was yanked from his flesh. The pain felt so good. He blushed at the thought of asking Alfred to remove the next one slower.

"My father knew the Kirkland's through work. When my parents passed away, he and his family came to America and took me in. His parents were very busy so Arthur was always the one looking after me. In my early teen years I was a bit of a rebel. I ran away and Arthur came to take me back. We had a horrible fight and I burnt most of the pictures we had taken together. After that, we did not speak for a long time. He moved back to England and I got my own place in New York City." Alfred's face dimmed, losing himself in his thoughts.

"I see." Toris said looking down with a sad expression on his face.

"Eh, but everything's cool now though!" The blue eyed man smiled. "How 'bout you, got any siblings?"

"No, but I have always thought it would be nice to have some. My mother passed away a few years ago and I never knew my father."

"I'm sorry about your lose." Alfred said sympathetically.

"Thank you. She was an amazing woman." Toris smiled in remembrance."A-aah." He moaned as another shard of glass was pulled out.

"Sorry dude, you alright?" The blond asked surprised by the man's reaction.

"Y-yes." Toris nodded. He was beginning to get overly aroused, but he could not let Alfred notice. Alfred finished dressing his hand and put the supplies away. Toris flexed his hand. He observed the American's handiwork in the light. It was a little sloppy, but he knew he had tried his best.

"Why don't you stay over tonight? You can sleep with me in my bed."

"Sl-sleep in your b...No, no! That is not necessary I am fine now, so I bett-"

"Ha Ha Haaaa! I insist!" Alfred laughed. "It will be an old-fashioned sleep over!"

Toris sighed and hopped off the counter. Two grown men having a sleep over? Not only that, but sharing the same bed. He wondered about Alfred's sexuality. Was he gay? He had only known Alfred since this morning. Could it be that he was planning to...

"Alfred F. Jones! DID YOU EAT MY-" The short blond stormed into the bathroom holding up an empty bag of chips. Having just gotten home, he was still in his work clothes. A long lab coat and black slacks. He saw Toris and was surprised to see him there. "Oh, Mr. Laurinaitis. Why are you here?"

"I-I...well you see, I-" Toris stammered.

"He got hurt at work, so I brought him home and fixed him up." Alfred interrupted. He walked over to Kirkland and smacked him on the back, hard. A little too hard. The older man winced. "I invited him to stay tonight. We are going to have a sleep-over and you aren't allowed to come." Kirkland let out a long sigh.

"Why the bloody hell would anyone want to sleep over with you? I am sorry about Alfred." Kirkland said pulling out his cell phone. "I will call you a cab." Alfred's eyes saddened behind his glasses.

"E-eh, maybe I can stay another time." Toris suggested. He really did not mind staying, but not tonight.

"Fine." Alfred let out a disappointed sigh and walked off through the house to the living room. He sat on the couch and turned on the television. Laughing at one of his favorite cartoon characters get bonked on the head.

"It will arrive shortly." Kirkland said hanging up his phone. He tucked it away and smiled. Kirkland saw Toris out.

"Thank you." Toris said grateful. "U-um, Dr. Kirkland, I was wondering if perhaps I could have my patient changed? Me and Ivan Braginski are not really h-hitting it off." The Englishman laughed.

"It has only been one day and you left early. You cannot expect for you two to be best friends the moment you meet." Kirkland opened the door. The cab sat in the drive waiting for Toris to get in.

"I-I know, but I do not th-"

"Listen, give it a week and see how things go, alright?" The shorter man said. It sounded almost like the man was begging. "It is really hard to find people like us. People who want to make a difference."

"...Okay. I will give it my best." Toris said and got in the vehicle. Alfred waved to him from the window. He waved back chuckling. His hand throbbed, but that was the least of his worry. The cab pulled up to the front of his apartment building. A brick building with pink shutters. Toris payed the taxi driver and hurried to his apartment on the forth floor. Slipping his key inside, he jiggled the handle until the door creaked open.

The three room apartment was far from cozy. All the walls were white and it had a tacky yellow carpet throughout. Toris had most of his things still packed away in boxes and stacked up against the wall. In the corner a small table sat in the tiny kitchen next to the wall. A single chair sat in front of papers and booked laid over it. He had planned on unpacking after work that evening, but unfortunately that would have to wait til the next day. Tiredly, he bent down to remove his sneakers. Instead he found the fuzzy bunny slippers still on his feet. He slipped out of them quickly. His cheeks red from embarrassment that he had been walking around in them all day. It was not late. Only about four or five in the afternoon, but Toris had had a stressful day.

He walked to the bedroom. Besides a mirror on the closet, the only thing in the room was a mattress with a few pillows and blankets. His bed was to be delivered in a couple days from Lithuania. He undressed himself being careful of his hand. The reflection of his scars caught his eye. Most of them were on his back and thighs. Toris ran his finger over the one on his side. The pink raised flesh shined in the light. He shivered at the thought of how it was inflicted. His eyes narrowed.

"Disgusting." He said turning away from the sight. It was not directed at the wound, but rather the man who had put it there. "Ivan Braginski..." Toris hurried into his nighty and crawled into bed." Soon after his head touched the pillow, he was fast asleep.

* * *

"Anastasia?" The mellow voice rang through the abandoned church. "Come here my Anastasia."

"Y-yes sir?" A boy entered the dark room dressed in a servants dress. His hair was long and slightly messy. Clouded green-eyes looked out from under the untamed fringe. A long heavy chain was secured tightly to his ankle ensuring that he could not escape.

"You have not been eating enough lately, I am concerned." Said the man in the oversized armchair. Beside him was a small table, atop of which was a bottle of Vodka. He was always drinking, always intoxicated. "Shall I get the feeding tube again?"

"N-no sir!" The boy answered quickly. He shivered at the thought of having the long plastic tube shoved down his throat.

"Here is your food for today." The man held up a small plastic container. Filled with most likely another stew.

"Thank you."" The boy took it and bowed.

"Stay, I want to watch you eat." He said smiling behind his scarf. There was a short period of silence. The boy was starving but, he knew the food was drugged.

"Yes sir." Answered the boy. He sat on the floor and ate quietly. The man watched him closely to make sure he consumed every bite.

"Good boy, come sit on my lap." The boy staggered over and sat. The drugs were already taking effect, he wondered how many he had put in this time. Large arms wrapped around his middle and the man kissed the top of his head gently. "Anastasia, I am going to make you feel good."

"Please, d-do not." Said the boy in a whisper. He knew what awaited him when a hand slipped up his dress. Tears streamed down his cheeks as his mind dissolved. The man had complete control of him. He was putty in his captors hands.


	4. Chapter 4

Toris awoke feeling more tired than he did when he had gone to sleep. He sat up and rubbed his eyes. It was still dark outside. The lights of a passing car flooded through his lace curtains casting eerie shadows on the walls.

His hand barely fit through the small space between the boards on the window. He stuck a piece of bright colored fabric through the hole, trying to get someone's attention from the street below. He often did this when the man was out during the day.

"They are too busy to notice you. "The boy turned around startled. He hid the small piece of yellow cloth in his dress pocket. The tall man walked over to him and grabbed hold of his chin. "How shall I punish you? I was so nice to give you a window, but perhaps I will move you down to the basement with the rats."

"No sir, please!"

"Then what do you propose?" Said the man. He pulled the ratted scarf up farther over his oversize nose. The boy looked to the dusty floor shaking.

"Th-the noose." He said quietly. The man laughed and pulled the boy with him out of the room. His chain jiggling as he struggled to keep up.

"It is not a punishment if you enjoy it."

* * *

He went to the closet and got his clothes for the day. Toris slipped out of his nighty and put on the usual green scrubs he always wore. His white undershirt's sleeves were a little too short. The shirt was a gift from an old friend and he assumed it was a woman's shirt, considering the man was known to cross-dress himself. Scars stuck out from under the white material. He pulled one sleeve up to the elbow and examined the self-inflicted healed wounds. They had faded, but were still very visible. They were from a darker time in his life, a time Toris wished to never revisit. He walked to the mirror to check his appearance. Sighing when he saw the messiness of his hair. The right side of his head was a tangled mess. Having no time for a shower, he combed it through and tied it back.

"Maybe it's time for a haircut." Toris mumbled to himself. He had always worn his hair on the longer side. His mother had told him that his hair was so beautiful, why cut it? However, if he did cut it, it might stop people from thinking he was a woman. He grabbed his pepper-spray from his suitcase and tucked it safely into his pocket. If he had to be around that monster, he would at least have some type of protection. There were questions he wanted to ask him. Toris was no longer the scared boy he used to be. He would get justice and the man would be punished for what he had done, somehow. It would be difficult to prove, considering the incident happened a little more than 11 years ago.

Toris walked to the bus stop down the street and waited. A small bag sat next to him. It contained the rabbit slippers he had borrowed from Ivan . Unlike the day before, he was not looking forward to work. The bus pulled up quicker than he wanted. Alfred was waving and shouting at him from a window. He laughed to himself, waving back as he boarded.

"Hey buddy! Come sit next to me!" Alfred yelled, even though he was only three seats back. The lady from the day before was glaring at Toris again. He blushed and sat next to the obnoxious blond.

"Good morning Alfred." Toris said with a small smile.

"How's your hand?"

"Fine." Said Toris holding his bandaged hand up for him to see. Alfred was silent for a few minutes. This time the lady looked over to make sure the loud mouthed young man was still on the bus, disappointed when she saw he was.

"In the bathroom, yesterday...who were you shouting at?" Alfred asked bluntly. His eyes were full of concern behind the glass of his spectacles. "I know it really isn't any of my business, but I...would like to help. Is someone harassing you?"

"No! I-I was yelling a-at-" Toris began no idea what to tell the man.

"You don't have to tell me pal, if you don't want to."

"I-it is not that I do not want to tell you, it is just, it is h-hard for me to talk about. In the past Iv...I had a...I was kidnapped and the other day something triggered some bad memories." Said Toris calmly. His bangs hid his eyes as he explained. He hoped it was enough to satisfy the prying yankee. Muscular arms wrapped around his middle and he was embraced. Alfred rested his head upon the other man's shoulder.

"Dude, I'm sorry that happened to you." Alfred said softly. He pulled away and put a hand atop Toris' head. "You ever need someone to talk to about it, I'm here for you pal."

"That is kind of you." Toris said blushing. "Thank you, you are a good friend."

The rest of the ride was short. Alfred had dropped the subject and went on to talk about American Football. They got off at their stop and went inside. A different receptionist sat at the front desk. She was a younger woman and abnormally attractive. Alfred stayed behind to flirt, whilst Toris went on through the door. He took the stairs to his floor stopping in the cafeteria to get his patient's breakfast along the way. The nurses stood around in the safe room. Some chuckled as he walked by. Toris sighed and continued on, knowing they were most likely talking about his episode from the day before. He saw Liz passing out the morning medications and asked for Ivan's pills. After reassuring her he was fit to work that day, he went down the hall stopping in front of room 862.

* * *

Dark colored smoke tricked under the door. The boy huddled in the corner holding his dress to his mouth to help filter the air. He coughed, his eyes watering. The fire blazed just outside the room. It had been an hour since the fire had begun and the whole church was now engulfed in flames. One of the candles had dropped off the balcony out of the boys reach. His voice was gone from yelling for help, but none had come. He had given up. There was no escape for him. The chain could not be broken, it was much too thick. His ankle was bruised from his futile attempts to slip free. This place, it truly was Hell.

* * *

Toris clenched at the bag in his hand. He wondered if coming in that day was a good idea or not. Finally, after convincing himself that this was something he had to do. He took a deep breath and ventured inside.

The room was dark except for a small sunflower night-light beside Ivan bed. Toris had not remembered it from yesterday. He stared at the object, pondering its existence.

"Anastasia?" The high-pitched voice asked sleepily from the mound on the bed.

"My name is Toris." Toris said sternly. "I brought you breakfast and your medication." Without asking he switched on the lights. Personally he did not care if the man wanted them on or not. Ivan did not protest and rolled over in bed so he could see his bright-eyed caretaker.

"Are you real?" He asked quietly. His voice sounding almost of that of a child.

"Of course I am. You can see me, can you not?" Toris said annoyed. He put the tray beside Ivan's bed and sat in the chair next to it looking at the man in disgust.

"All because I can see you, does not mean you are real." Sighed Ivan sitting up. "Have you forgotten where you are?" He smirked and took the pills from the side table popping them in his mouth. His violet eyes shifted from the green orbs to the brown-haired man's bandaged hand. The smirk faded from his face. "I did not do that, did I?" He looked concerned.

"No." Toris said quickly hiding his hand with the other.

"I thought you...died that night." Ivan looked down to the floor. A expression of deep sadness in place of the smile. "After, I searched for you. Long and hard, but I could not find you. You were gone and had floated away."

"Why did you do it?" Toris blurted. He wanted so badly to punch the man in the face, but held himself back. The man was double his size. No way he could take him if it turned into a fist fight. There was a short period of prolonged silence before finally an answer came from the messy ash blond.

". . .Because, I loved you."

* * *

"Anastasia!" Yelled a booming voice from beyond the door. It was the kidnapper. The boy looked up from the floor startled.

"Here!" Cried out the boy, as loud as he could. The door was forced open, a gust of hot air blew back the boys long hair. He looked up at the man in front of him. Never had he thought he would be happy to see him. The man hurried and unlocked the boy's chain.

"Are you alright?" He asked concerned.

"Yes sir." The boy said hoarsely. It was followed by a coughing fit. The man removed his scarf and wrapped it around the boys neck. He made sure it covered his air passages. This was the first time the boy had seen the man without his scarf. The man was surprisingly young, very young. By the looks of it he could not be more than three years older than himself.

"You are safe now, I am going to get you out of here." He said picking the boy up. The man carried him carefully out into the burning hallway. A sea of fire swirled around them. It Looked near imposable to navigate around the flames. "It will be alright." The man said reassuringly. He sat the boy down and wrapped the old trench coat around him. "I will keep you safe, I promise." He smiled warmly at the boy.

There was a loud crackle from above. The man's face turned to fear and the boy was pushed back. A large piece of ceiling fell on-top of the man. His body went limp, crushed under the object.

The man awoke out on the sidewalk. Two emergency workers leaning over him. A breathing mask covered his mouth he moved to remove it and sat up panting.

"Anastasia?" He said looking around him. The two emergency personals were trying to calm him down. "Where is my Anastasia?" His eyes went to the building. Flames burst from the windows lighting up the night. The fire fighters were trying desperately to put it out. He got up and wobbled towards it. "I will sa-save you..." Only able to take a few steps, he fell back to the ground. Tears dripped from cheeks and darkened the concrete. There was a loud explosion. He looked up to the sight of the old church crumbling before him. "ANASTASIA!" The young man screamed horrified. "I promised...I-I promised..." He sobbed burying his face into his hands. "I promised."

* * *

"LOVE?" Said Toris is disbelief. "Who treats someone like, THAT, when they love them?" Ivan's eyes returned to the floor. He wrapped his thick arms around his legs pulling them into his chest.

"That, was the way I was taught." His voice was nearly a whisper. "Growing up, that was the way my father had...e-expressed his love. I thought, I thought that..." Toris found himself feeling sorry for him. Suddenly realizing he had experienced the same treatment, and from his father. It was almost too much to bare.

"I see." Said Toris, heart ache beginning to sicken him. He looked away, unable to look at the man that was now in tears.

"I-I loved you so mu-much." Ivan sniffled burying his face. "I tried so ha-hard to make you love me, so hard my Anastasia..."


	5. Chapter 5

Toris was taken aback. The man in front of him was his enemy, even so, he could not stand seeing someone upset. Hesitantly, he reached out and pat Ivan on the shoulder. He looked up from his hands. Tears ran down his pale cheeks from his moist mauve eyes. They looked up at Toris curiously half hidden behind snowy blond blinds. His upper lip quivered slightly, then upturned into a smile.

"People will take advantage of your kindness." Ivan said wiping his tears. Toris pulled his hand away, but it was caught by a large hand. "These, I did not give you." He was staring at the old scars on Toris' forearm the smile no longer spread across his face.

"L-let go!" Toris pried at the fingers that were firmly wound around his wrist. He was released and the room fell silent. A heaviness hung thick in the air.

"What are they from?"

"I do not think that is any-"

Ivan's gaze drifted to the green eyes of his caretaker. "It was you, da?" Toris face was petrified by this statement. He knew it must be true, the younger man was horrible at hiding his emotions. "...was it, because of me you tried to kill yourself?" Toris twitched a little. "I thought so. I-I was never going to kill you, it was the plan at first but after awhile...th-there was no way I could. It was hard to resist the temptation though. You looked so delicious. Beautiful tanned skin, soft and freshly scarred. Thinking back on it now, I should have chopped off your hand and made it into one of the stews I fed you. We could have shared it." He smiled crookedly.

"Your food is ge-getting cold." Toris stood from his chair. Hands shaking as he tucked his bangs securely behind his ears. Ivan tilted his head curiously, had he said something wrong? "I will not be your caretaker for long. Just til the end of this week."

Ivan jolted up a little, soon returning to his relaxed state of being. ". . . I will kill myself." The words sweetly left his lips as if he was reading for a child at bedtime. Toris let the statement soak in for a moment. He stuttered silently and paused. Unsure if there was anything in his arsenal to say back, or if he even wanted to interfere with the Man's blunt decision. "I cannot live without you, now that I know you are real."

Something grew within Toris deep inside his stomach. It fluttered around in him, wanting the chance to soar free. His cheeks darkened to a deep scarlet. Tongue dry like wire mesh inside his mouth. Today he would speak his mind to the demon in human manifest before him.

"Listen to me!" His voice was trill. "You do not deserve the liberty of death, scum, Disgusting Trash. What you deserve is to tortured for the remainder of your sad life. Ridiculed and be reveled as the dirt that you are." Toris brought his hand back threateningly. He wondered if the man would retaliate if he were to send a fist hurling into his face. Toris was abruptly sent back to reality. Thrown to the ground and straddled in one swift movement. His Adams apple bobbed under the thick rough hands circling his nape.

"Hold your tongue." Ivan hissed only centimeters from his lips. The smell of staleness from his breath tinged Toris' nose. "I could snap your neck like a twig. Yet, I am holding myself back for your sake, dear Toris."

"Get your filthy hands off me." Toris spit.

One hand slithered off his neck and traveled downwards. "How about I make you feel good, da? I bet you have grown allot since last we were together." Toris hands searched his person frantically for the pepper spray only to realize it was not in his pockets. Coldness brushed up against him down below. "Tell me how it feels and be honest." Ivan cooed.

The hiss of an aerosol can made Toris feel nauseated . The burning sensation sending shooting pain through his body. "St-stop, uh, barbarian!" A knee was jammed into his stomach. Pressure increasing as the Russian shifted his weight forcing the man under him to breathe in short strained breaths.

Toris felt clammy lips being pressed against his cheek." So much deep rooted emotions, you are beginning to make me blush." Ivan softly said in his usual sing-sung voice.

"Savage." Said Toris repulsed. He was pinned beneath his attacker. A hand stroked him, at least that was what Toris thought was happening. It was difficult to tell. The spray had made the area below his waist numb with pain. "GET OFF." He wheezed.

Lips lingered close to his own. "I will not loose you again. If you try to leave me, I will lock you up and throw away the key."

"Y-you have no control over me." Toris glowered up at the man. His eyes reduced to small slits half covered by untamed fringe.

Ivan's smirked and let out a deep chuckle. "Is that right?" He whispered.

Toris was snatched by the hair, the weight removed from his middle. Gasping for air, he was pulled across to the bed and thrown onto the far-from-comfortable mattress. His wrists were seized with a crushing grip, then forced into the cloth restraints. Next his ankles were tethered down, tightly.

"L-Let me go." The brunette said, still trying to regain his breath.

A cold finger was pressed against his lips. "Hush, I cannot have you drawing attention to yourself." Ivan Lifted the mattress the other bed and laid it atop Toris. Toris thrashed, trying to break free. His cries for help were muffled by a thick layer of cushion. "I am sleepy." The Russian said yawning deeply. He brushed his light bangs out of his face and hopped on the squirming mass. Toris could no longer move, hardly able to fill his lungs with the air they so desperately needed. Ivan covered himself with the heavy wool quilt and rest his head on his pillow. "Sleep well, Toris." He snickered, petting the sheet tenderly.


	6. Chapter 6

He took the long way home. His tattered backpack hung over one shoulder swaying as he walked. The children from his class hurried past him to home. Their families waiting for them to arrive. They would be greeted warmly and sit down together for a meal. Talk about the day they had, maybe play a little before being tucked in for the night. For him there was no rush. There would be no cheer when he reached his home, no happy family, no home cooked meal, nothing.

The wind picked up, blowing back his tan oversized coat. He huddled his arms tucking bare hands into the creases of the fabric. It was cold, it was always cold. His thick blonde hair was tussled by a harsh gust of arctic air. It landed back onto his forehead covering back the bruise that crossed his face. He rounded the corner coming to stand before a large run-down grey house. His heart nearly stopping when he noticed an unwelcomed visitor parked beside it. In the graveled drive was the rusted red truck that was constantly in his nightmares. A yellow star shaped sticker was stuck to the bumper indicated that indeed, it was the man's. Taking a deep breath he pressed on farther, up the steps and entered quietly through the kitchen. A tall, large man stood waiting for him. His hair long and dark, eyes a bright deep mauve.

"You are late Boy." The man said, his voice rough. "Take it off, NOW. All of it." The floor was littered with alcoholic beverage bottles.

"Yes sir." The boy slipped his shoes off and removed his coat. Stripping down to nothing as the towering man watched closely. He kept his eyes down to the scratched wooden flooring. A large hand reached out and cupped his gut.

"You are so Fat." The man chuckled slightly and hit the boy's cheek with the back of his hand. It deepened to a rosy pink, but the boy did not seem to care. This, was a daily occurrence. "Get on your knees, PIG." He demanded, gawking down at him. The youth dropped down obeyingly. His hair was snatched firmly and yanked back. Forced to look up into the man's somber face, he starred into those eyes that mimicked his own. Suddenly a pill was shoved forcefully into his mouth, he swallowed it down dryly. "Those are meant to be taken with something."

"I am, not hungry sir. I have homework, may I go do it?" He said, hoping the man would let him go to his room, but there was no such luck this time. The man unzipped his pants and pressed his head into him.

"Eat up."

* * *

Ivan sat up and rubbed his forehead with his palm. He had begun to sweat, the tip of his bangs wet.

"Toris, I had a bad dream." Ivan said petting his pillow, the man still sandwiched between the two mattresses below him. He lifted his shirt and looked at his slightly flabby abdomen. "Am I fat Toris?" The pale blonde got up from the bed and pushed the mattress off. Toris felt his lungs sting as he could now fill them completely. He coughed, his hair sticking to his face. His underarms were soaked with perspiration. Ivan straddled the brunette's hips and lifted his shirt up to help him cool down. There was no objection, Toris was too exhausted and truthfully it felt good. "You are not fat." Ivan said fingering the lightly tanned skin just above the man's navel. The coldness of the digit made Toris shiver. "You are beautiful. I envy you Toris, very much. Was your Mother pretty like you? Did she get better? You said she was sick, back then. What was her name...Lilly?"

Toris' heart skipped a beat. "How do you know her name? You have no right to say it!"

Ivan was surprised from his reaction and cupped a hand over Toris's lips. He thought the man was too tired to speak. "You told me, once." He said quietly brushing hair from the man's face. Those eyes shined up at him, bright green, his Anastasia's eyes. They were beautiful as always. Ivan did not understand why, but he desperately wanted to keep one under his pillow. "I remember everything you told me. You need to relax." His hand slipped under the mattress and bed-frame. It Emerged back into view with a pill held between his thumb and finger. Toris squirmed. His head flipping back and forth in refusal. "Shhhhh...it is just a small dose." Ivan hushed and quickly popped the pill into the man's mouth. He replaced his hand to make sure he would swallow. The thrashing began to cease and when Toris had stopped all movement, Ivan let go.

"Why do you do this...to me?" Toris asked, his eyes both glossed over. He starred up at the ceiling saliva dripping from the corner of his slightly parted lips. It ran down the side of his face and into his messed hair.

Gingerly, Ivan replied. "I want to talk. You say you would listen, you are my caretaker." Ivan laid next to Toris and laced his fingers over his stomach. "I grew up without a mother, I never knew her, but she did not die she ran away. I do not know why she left me and my sisters, but I have feeling it was because of her husband. He also had purple eyes. His hair was thick and black and it was everywhere."

"Your father..."

"NO! That man, he was Satan." Ivan protested. "Eldest sister, was the daughter of Mother's lover before she was married. But they were so young and he was a military man. Mother never told him about Big Sis, and purposely lost touch. Guess she did not want to burden him, but I believe they loved each other down deep." He sighed. "Then, that man, somehow tricked my naïve Mother into marrying him. Maybe it was because she got pregnant with me, da? I do not know, but they did not love one another. No-one could love, someone like him. When she went off, h-he...made me do things." He said deeply, his eyes far off.

"Like, what you...did to me?" Toris asked interested. His stomach felt full as it did those many years ago. It was not an uncomfortable feeling, at least not to him. He filled his lungs with air letting his abdomen expand. It increased the sensation and he shivered. Could it be, it felt good? No, he knew it felt good.

"NO, I treat you good. I-I am not bad, I try really hard!" Ivan protested turning on his side to face Toris. Immediately Ivan could see something was off. "Toris?" Foam was building up in the back of Toris's throat. His eyes rolled back behind fluttering eyelids. Ivan was horrified, unhooking the man from the frame quickly. "TORIS?" He succeeded and rolled Toris on his side so he would not choke. The spasms started and Ivan held him tightly. "HELP! H-HELP!" He called.

* * *

He stuck the cold metal against himself. The skin buckled, then the object slide through freely. It made a perfect incision from the wrist to the crease of his forearm, envious even to the best of surgeons. His green eyes watched excitedly as blood beaded from the fresh wound streaking down the sides of his arm. He imagined the man holding him from behind. The coldness of his chest against his bare back and his large nose nuzzled just below his ear whispering words of encouragement to him. In his mind he pictured the sunset shinning through the church windows. The glass casting an array of colors over the rotten wooden floor boards.

"Excuse me, but, like, do you have any seat covers? The thingy is like, empty and junk over here." A voice came from the stall next to him. Toris jumped a little and held still, hoping they would give up on him, like everyone else. "Heeelloooo?" The voice came again, this time a head was peeking overtop the divide. A pair of green-eyes screaming of sarcasm peered down at him. They were set father apart and slightly slanted. Locks of hair sprouted down the head evenly creating a straight part down the middle of the head. It was a shiny bright bleached yellow and stopped just at the shoulders. First thought was he/she was a girl, but then he remembered he was in the men's restroom. "Are you deaf?""""""""" The boy's eyes traveled down Toris and settled on the open wound on his arm. His eyes widened. "Like what the heck happened?"

"A-ah, I-I..." Toris started, before dropping the razor. Both of them were startled, starring at the small blade on the bathroom floor. The two of them looked at each other in silence, until broken by the blond.

"So emo boy, like, how about you hand me one of those seat covers? "Toris quickly pulled down his sleeve and took one from the dispenser. He held it up to him quietly, blushing. "Thank yooou." The boy took the paper and disappeared. Toris walked out of the stall at a fast pace, his arm snatched before he made it to the exit. "Hey, if you go back now you will get in serious trouble."

"Do not touch me!" Toris exclaimed pulling away. He shook uncontrollably and backed away huddling his arms. "Do not t-touch me like that."

"Shhhhh...Calm down, calm down." The boy quietly whispered watching as tears began to form in Toris's eyes, terrified. "I am skipping World History, you too?" Toris concentrated on the fem boy. He turned on his heels and. went back into the stall taking a seat on the covered toilet. He pulled out a bottle of pink nail polish and crossed his legs.

Toris walked a little closer so he could watch. The boy had begun to paint. "Home Economics."

He stopped and looked up at Toris in disbelief. "No way! That class is the cat's Meeeow, who would like, skip that?" The way the boy spoke made Toris chuckle.

"I like that class too, but it is the only one I can afford to skip." Toris explained taking a seat just outside the stall door frame.

"I see. My name is Feliks, but because I as so, Posh, call me Po, kay?" He smirked. A full set of braces lined his teeth.

"U-uh alright, um, I am Toris."

"Toris? That name like, kinda fails. I will call you...Liet."

* * *

A clammy hand was smacking against his cheek, Toris awoke. Pink nails flashed into his vision and he followed them with his eyes. They lead him to a familiar face, flipping back a section of smooth hair and then crossed against a purple backdrop.

"Like finally, I thought you'd be sleeping, FOREVER." He spoke through plump lip-glossed lips.

"Feliks?" Toris groaned sitting up. He looked around at his hospital setting then back to the womanly man to his left. The bed dipped as he took a seat beside him.

"Hee-eey! I heard you had like, a serious seizure, you 'kay? Got you a card."

Feliks thrust a picture of two black and white kittens into his face. There slanted eyes made contact with his own. "G-Get them away!" Toris yelled pushing away the get-well card. He shut his eyes and turned his head.

"Oh right, you're a cat hater."

It is called ailurophobia and you know it! I-It is a perfectly normal fear, lots of people have it." Toris said flustered. He knew Feliks did it on purpose. There was a smirk stretched wide across his face and his eyes looked more sarcastic than usual.

"What triggered that again...the crazy cat lady?" Feliks said with a chuckle.

"No! I-it was a little girl."

"Yea, yea, just go back to sleep and junk. You need like, rest." He stood and walked to the open door, shutting it as he left. "Nighty night." The room was dark. It was night time, he had been sleeping for most the day. Or perhaps, it had been more than a day. How long had he been crushed under Ivan?

* * *

Toris hurried down the street. He carried a large paper bag, inside of which was the groceries his mother had sent him out for. The little ball on the end of his hat swished back and forth behind his head. It was beginning to get dark. Toris did not like to be alone in the dark. It was scary and made him paranoid. He cut through a dimly lit alleyway. Passing a dumpster to his right, he took another small alley. Nearly home, he slowed to a steady walking pace. His breathing was heavy from the run. He avoided the small pools of rainwater on the pavement. It had stormed the night before. The brick walls that surrounded him were still damp. Stained darker as his eyes traveled upward, observing one closely.

"You." A deep, but feminine voice called out to him. His gaze was now cast on a small girl. She stood blocking the way. Long ashy hair stopped midway down her back and a crudely made white bow topped her head. Her bangs hung past her brows making it impossible to see her eyes.

"O-oh, um yes?" Toris asked politely smiling. He blushed, the girl was very attractive at least from what he saw.

"My cat is stuck in a hole. Help me get him." She demanded taking his arm. Her grip was tight around his wrist. It was almost painful.

"A-alright." Toris stuttered walking with the girl. She lead him off the path to home down an old street. It looked as though no-one had lived there in decades. He followed into an abandoned building. "In here?"

"Yes."

"I do not think little girls should be hanging out about these kind of places. Do your pare-"

"There." The girl said pointing to a hole in the ground. It was deep and the sides were jagged with rocks. A meowing could be heard from in the darkness, echoing. Toris leaned over the edge and peered down. "This is for calling me a little girl."

Before Toris had time to respond, he was shoved. He fell, his body being thrashed against the rocky wall as he descended. Finally he hit ground with a thud, landing on something soft. Now in darkness, and bleeding he reached up feeling the walls blindly. They were moist and covered in, grass? All around his flies buzzed. The hole smelled horribly and he gagged on the smell.

"Help! G-Get me out!" Toris called out. Above he could hear the girl speaking to someone.

"Big Brother, I caught one. Do you think father will like him?"

A light was shined down the hole into Toris's face. He held a hand up to shield his eyes, trying to make out anything from beyond the brightness. On his knuckles was a streak of dark red liquid. His eyes grew in size. He looked about him and saw all the walls were covered in blood. Insides stuck to some of the rocks. His eyes dropped to the ground, many pairs of slatted eyes starred blankly up at him. Some of there furry faces half decomposed. Maggots sticking to their flesh, . Toris covered his mouth and nose with his hands.

"I think I would like to keep this one. Find another one for the man." A deeper voice replied. The light was removed and heavy footsteps tramped across the floor. "Leave him here for a few days, until his lanterns fade." Toris heard a creaky door shut. Standing in the pile of cat remains, up to his calfs, he shook. His eyes unmoving from where he had seen their faces.


	7. Chapter 7

Toris left the hospital after a near sleepless night. He sluggishly walked up the steps to his apartment. Bags under his eyes and a bottle pills in his hand. His hair shaded his face, he hoped that helped hide his appearance. He slumped into his room and looked around. There was so much for him to do, but no time to do it. He went to his closet and began to pack, throwing everything into a large green duffle bag. He was not sure if he was making a mistake, but he was too tired to make that judgment. If he could get passed leaving work early for one day, he would feel accomplished. Finishing quickly, he walked to his mattress and fell on it with welcoming arms. He reached for the small pharmacy bag and pulled out a orange bottle. His name was printed on it, along with the dosage.

"I never thought I would have to take these again." He talked to himself in a whisper. The lid popped as he opened it. His hand cupped at the edge to catch the two pills that slide out. Toris swallowed them dry. They stuck a little to the inside of his throat, traveling down slowly. Although, he enjoyed this feeling. In the back of his mind, he knew it was not normal. Most people would find taking medication without something uncomfortable, but that was the way he had always taken it. He decided one dose was not enough and popped another two pills in, it was stupid, he knew, but it felt good. The phone to the apartment rang and he reached over to grab it nearly tumbling off the bed. "H-hello?" He answered.

"Hey pal, you okay?" Alfred's voice came from the other end. Toris sighed, could anything in his life be considered okay?

"Yes, I am fine."

"Well that is a relief!" Alfred chuckled. "I was worried the fatass turned you into a vegetable."

"Ivan?" Toris asked. "Wh-what happened to him, uh, after?" He bit his lip nervously.

"Solitary confinement. They are talking about transferring him to another hospital, but because of the fact there is barely a file on the dude no-one wants him. Bad news for you, yeah? So, you quitting or what? I hope not, I really, uh, enjoy your company. The other nurses suck balls, 'cept Liz and she won't suck mine."

"W-well, I was actually packing to stay with Ivan. However, if he is in Solitary confinement I gue-"

"Dude, come stay at my place!" Alfred said nearly blowing out Toris' eardrums. "You said you would, if you don't that will make you a liar."

"Alfred I-"

"TORIS, come on, you know you want to. It will give Arthur a reason to cook, even though his cooking is shit. Pleeeeaase, you're like, one of my only friends and Arthur doesn't count cause he's a bitch." The American pleaded. Toris decided that since he would probably not have any work to do in the morning, he could handle Alfred for a night.

"Yes, alright. I will be there in an hour or so."

"REALLY?" Came his voice again. Alfred was the definition of loud. Toris held the phone away from his ear.

"Y-yes, see you in a little bit." Toris said to a dead line. He must have hung up in all the excitement. After placing the receiver back on the hook, Toris decided to take a shower. He was looking pretty rough.

* * *

Ivan laid on the bed in the freezing room. He did not mind the cold, but he would have preferred a warmer place. The straightjacket was too tight for him. It made him hutch over uncomfortably. Laying on his side he stared at the heavy metal door. It only had a slot to slide in the disgusting meals they served. He hoped his caretaker was alright. Maybe it was the pill that caused him to spasm like that or perhaps he was weak like his mother.

"I am sorry Anastasia." He whispered softly to his pillow. Worst of all, no-one would tell him what was going on with him. Most, did not even know his name. He was new, but still, who could forget eyes like that?

Ivan decided to go and visit. With a small pop, his arm was out of socket and he was sticking his head through to get free. The Russian popped it back in and cracked his neck un-phased. Soon he had wiggled the jacket off, moving on to the locked door. From his pocket he pulled out Toris' ID he had, borrowed. He scanned it, there was a click, and the door opened like magic. Getting out of the cell was easy, but getting out of the hospital was a little harder. Unlike Toris, everyone knew Ivan's name and face. He sighed deeply, and looked around for something to help him sneak out.

"Big Brother, is that you? I can hear you breathing." A voice echoed off the hall lined with cells, it sent a shiver down Ivan's spine.

"Baby sister?" He called.

"Da! It is you Big Brother! Now, break down this door separating our love."

He walked along the cells, until he came to one with two shiny mauve eyes peeping out at him from the tray slot. They scared him slightly.

"Baby sister, what are you doing here?"

"A man who was not big brother tried to touch me, so I bit off his ear. The only thing good about other men is the taste of their blood. Da, big brother?" She said darkly.

"Da, and if you help me out of this place, I will take you to see a very tasty little man." Ivan replied softly. The cell hallway was heavily monitored, however video surveillance was relatively new and as far as Braginski could tell, they had not been installed yet.

"Yes big brother." She said excitedly, thrilled her brother wanted her to spend time with him. He was always avoiding her and she had no clue why. Ivan swiped the card on her door and it opened. A recently removed straight jacket was crinkled on the floor next to the petite girl. They had put a muzzle on her and her blonde hair was very messy. "BIG BROTHER!" She exclaimed wrapping her arms around him.

"Now, baby sister, we have to leave." The large man said pushing her back to unhook the muzzle. She smiled nodding, blood dried at the corner of her mouth.

"Da, big brother."

* * *

Toris rinsed the shampoo from his hair letting the water spray his face. It felt good to get clean. He covered his nipples to protect them from the hard water, they were very sensitive. His hands wondered over the chest scars and downwards meeting a very secretive part of himself. He could not remember the last time he had been touched. Tenderly he moved up and down his shaft. His member was not big or long and when erect it was slightly crooked. The movement was making his knees buckle. It was embarrassing, but he liked to make himself full when he did not want to be. Like a game, a naughty game played alone. When he was younger he would force himself to be erect then go to school the whole day swollen with a twist tie around himself to prevent early release. He dropped down into the tub begging himself in his mind to stop, but instead of releasing he grabbed the bar of soap sitting in the holder next to him and shoved it up inside of himself.

"O-Ow! It hurts, take it out..." Tears rolled down his cheeks. The Irish Spring burning his anus slipped farther inside of him. His bum was up in the air, water sprinkling his opening. "Please, please." He begged, but shut the water off and made himself get out of the tub the bar deep within him. Toris swooned, reaching for a towel. His insides shifted and the bar shot out of him onto the floor causing him to cum all over the bathroom floor. He went down on all fours, soapy fluid spilling out of his ass. Drool dripped down his chin. "Th-thank you." He lowered his head to a glob of the mess he had made. "Clean it up." He ordered himself quietly. With his tongue he licked his own sperm up from the ground.

When the floor was cleaned, Toris allowed himself to stand and put on a towel. What had just taken place was not the masturbation practice of a sane man. If anyone found out he did these things, they would send him to an institution for sure. He dried his hair walking out of the bathroom.

"Hello, Anastasia." Someone cooed in Toris' ear. His eyes widened and heart sunk. He backed away into the wall gasping, his vision hazed. It must have been from the extra medication he had taken. Ivan was standing in his apartment. He was smiling with his eyes scanning over Toris' naked body.

"Ivan, g-get out of here. I will call the police!" Toris said after swallowing the lump in his throat.

Ivan laughed and gestured for his sister. "This is my baby sister, Natalia." She walked up hugging his waist. Her smile was more sinister than his was. Toris was blushing, the girl was very beautiful. He hid himself with the towel.

"Big Brother, what part can I have?" She asked pulling a long butchers knife out from her gown. Ivan himself had a hand saw, both must had come from one of Toris' boxes of unpacked things. They were still wearing clothing from the Asylum. White, head to toe.

"Any part you like farthest from the heart." Ivan replied watching the trembling man before him closely. The girl giggled and stepped to the brown haired toweled Lithuanian. She ran the blade over his scarred body.

"Ivan, stop this! You are going to end up ki-killing me, is that what you want?" Toris said trying to reason with the pale man. The girl was at his feet lining the knife up to the smallest digit. "Please!" He pleaded, but Ivan yawned. The knife was lifted, then brought down hard. It cut through skin and bone, 3 appendages completely removed from his left foot. Toris screamed and fell to the ground. Tears ran down his cheeks, he was in so much pain.

" I have to keep you safe." Ivan said getting down beside the squirming Toris and tying a string around his thigh. His sister held his arms above his head, helping to keep him still.

"Stop, this is MAD!" Toris thrashed. Ivan sighed and held a small rag to his face, the sweet chloroform forced him to go out cold just as the serrated blade was pushed against him.


	8. Chapter 8

"Toris? Sweetheart?"

The smell of delicious home cooking led the young Toris into the kitchen. His mother was busy cooking. Her back was turned from him. A long brown braid swayed as she reared her head. She smiled warmly, slight wrinkles appearing near her bright green eyes. Toris returned a smile.

"Yes, Mother?"

"Come, help me stir. You can lick the spoon when we are finished."

The youth hurried to his mothers side. Eagerly taking the utensil. She let him replace her hand and leaned against the counter, hurting. Toris did not notice, working hard to keep the meal from sticking.

* * *

Ivan had dropped the knife, unable to go through with his intentions. He held Toris like a child and kissed over his bad eye. Natalia glared at the sleeping long haired man in her brother's arms. What the fuck made him so special?

"Brother...what are your plans with this boy?" She snorted disgusted and chewed on one of Toris' toes she had taken.

The large Russian stood, towering over his sibling. He did not know how to answer, because in truth, he had not planned that far ahead.

"I thought of removing his limbs, but, I. . .cannot."

"Why? You are acting strangely brother! I say we eat him, he taste pretty good...for a man."

"Quiet! You have already received a reward for helping. Go, leave us."

Anger boiled up inside of Natalia. She was pissed, and for good reason. This man was nothing but dirt. All men, other than her dearest big brother were dirt. Her hands clenched into fists. He would die.

"I understand brother." Natalia smiled. Her smile even gave Ivan the creeps. She took Toris' coat and left the apartment, cursing under her breath.

Her slippers soaked through, walking down the puddled sidewalk. It was raining and the coat she had taken was not made for it. She well have been wearing nothing at all. Quickly she came to a bus stop and to her relief it had a covered bench nearby. She took a seat. It was dark and a little nippy being wet, but there was more important things on her mind; such as how to destroy the girly man child her brother was so fond of.

The bus pulled up. A man with a brown leather jacket got off. He was humming horribly out of tune. A small lock of hair swished back and forth on the top of his head. Natalia glared at the hair. It was annoying as hell to watch. She wanted to scalp him. The man looked over at her. His eyes were blue and he wore glasses.

"Hey, you getting on?" He asked with a smile.

"No."

"Then why you sitting at a bus stop?"

"It is raining." She said. Was he an idiot?

Natalia's eyes followed the man as he approached her. He slipped a hand into his pocket and pulled out some change holding it out to her.

"I'm not too great with the currency here, but this should be enough to get you any place you need to go."

"I have no place to go." She made a swipe at him with her nails. "Go away!"

He pulled back. "Hey, settle down kid."

"KID?"

"My name is Alfred, what's yours?" The man held his hand back out to her. She must have scratched him. Small droplets of blood were coming to the surface on his wrist. Natalia was suprized, and annoyed that he was still smiling.

". . . Natalia." She said spitefully. Alfred's eyes went big. He had heard that name before, and she spoke just like Ivan. The coat she had on looked like one he had seen before too.

"Toris." He gasped and Natalia grinned.

"You have come for him too? I am sorry to tell you, Alfred, but unfortunately my brother has claimed him."

"Braginski!" He snarled and ran towards Toris's apartment.

Alfred nearly tripped several times running up the steps. His shoes were wet and slippery. He did not know which apartment was Toris's, so he began to knock on each one calling out his name.

"TORIS?"

Ivan was busy dressing the sleeping Toris. He had found some old women's clothing in a box. They must have been his deceased mothers. He selected the most beautiful dress. It was a cream color and looked like it belonged to a doll. It was teared with lace to the knees and had short flowing sleeves. At the waist was a silky off white ribbon. Ivan tied it carefully and laid Toris down. He took a step back, admiring the lovely creature before him.

"Something like you should not be able to exist." Ivan whispered. It was so contradictory. He wanted to protect this man, but he also wanted to harm him. If he injured him, it would feel so good, but then he would feel regret for doing so. Even though he was less imperfect, due to Ivan's 'love', he was still the most perfect being the Russian had ever encountered.

He heard Toris' name being called. A sudden jolt of fear hit him. Ivan was worried, what if someone else wanted him because of his beauty? He could fix that. Perhaps, Toris would even want Ivan if no-one else desired him. Ivan looked over at the knife his sister had left. Toris would always be his Anastasia, even if he was hideous to the rest of the world.

He took the knife and held the Lithuanian's hair taught. His hand shaking he held the blade to his locks close to the roots. Hair would grow back, he thought. He cut through the wet hair and turned it over in his hand. Ivan would have to keep it. It was so silky. He reached over and put it in an empty box. Toris was left with a nearly bald head when he had finished. His bangs still remained. Ivan thought Toris would still like having a little hair. There were always wigs too. He could even make one from the hair he had just harvested.

"TORIS!" The voice came again and someone banged at the door. Alfred stood outside, he knew it had to be the right apartment. There was blood on the doorknob. "Open the door Braginski! I know you are in there, I ran into that freak job of a sister of yours!"

Ivan glared over at the door. The annoying American was interfering, as usual. He would kill him. His mouth upturned into a smile and he walked to the door. Slowly it was unlocked.

"Hello Alfred." Ivan greeted.

"Where is he?" Alfred demanded, glaring up at the Russian. "The police are on the way, you don't have a chance of getting out of here with him. You should just surrender to me. I won't even tell them about you keeping him hostage if you hand him over."

"Me and Anastasia are fine. We are meant for each other and have no room for you in our lives."

"Don't you give me that shit! Toris doesn't want you! So just leave the kid alone. Hasn't he suffered enough? You put him in the hospital!"

Ivan grabbed Alfred and pulled him inside, pressing him onto the wall. He shut the door.

"Shut Up! He will learn to love me!"

"Who the hell would love a monster like you?" Alfred yelled. Ivan loosened his grip on Alfred and his expression changed. "Face it, Braginski. You are terrorizing Toris. It is driving him mad, and thats the truth. If you care about him, you will leave him alone and go far away. Go were there won't even be the slightest chance of seeing each-other again."

"Never see him. . .again." Ivan said quietly. He looked over his shoulder at the man on the floor. The rain had stopped and the moonlight was shining over his face. Alfred escaped him, and ran to Toris' aid.

"Toris? Wake up, are you okay?" Alfred shook Toris softly. His brow furrowed and his hand moved in response. Alfred was relieved. "Toris, thank God."

When Alfred looked over his shoulder, Ivan had gone.

The way Toris was dressed made Alfred blush. He threw his coat over him to give the man warmth. His bangs were covering his eyes. Alfred brushed them aside. The Lithuanian was very attractive, even if he was a guy. Sure, his hair had been cut, but it did not distract from his angelic beauty. Men were not suppose to be so, pretty. Toris must have just showered, he smelled good. Alfred bent closer.

"So...sweet." He said softly. "I-I am just checking to see if you are breathing."

The blonde could feel the breath of the other man on his face. He was sleeping so peacefully. Before Alfred knew what he was doing, his lips were touching his. Fingers found there way to Toris' hair. It was still silky even if it was short. Alfred quickly pulled away and wiped his mouth. What the fuck did he just do?

The police came along with an ambulance. Alfred gave him a statement and Toris ended up waking once more in a hospital bed. Felik was at his side changing the IV. Toris did not speak, his head was burning and clouded.

"Hey, fancy seeing you again." He said smiling at his friend on the bed. "How you feeling?"

"How did I get here?"

"That blonde over there came here with you. He found you in your apartment. Looks like someone roughed you up, but you'll live. Why are you always attracting the hotties?" Toris followed Feliks gesture over to Alfred, asleep in an armchair. He smiled at him, glad to see him and not the Russian. A hand was placed on his head and pushed his bangs back. "The new doo is going to take some getting used to."

Toris felt his hair, it was so short he could feel old wound scars. He groaned and sighed.

"Well, I needed it cut anyways. Nothing I can really do about it."

Feliks moved his hand over the now visible scars on his ear, to his neck, over his chest. He stopped at the edge of the blanket frowning.

"Toris, I read your medical history."

Silence.

"Oh."

"I know you've tried suicide more than once. Toris, I am worried about you. I have known you, for like, ever, and you always seem like you are hiding shiz from me. I am not one to pry, but how are you feeling? Really?"

". . .I am. . .not well." Toris whispered. "I thought I was finished with those feelings, but, I still have those bad thoughts and I do. . .things to myself. Not because they feel good, it is because it hurts. I feed off it. The pills are not working either, even when I take beyond the dosage."

Feliks was alarmed. This was one of his dearest friends and he sounded, crazy. He did not want Toris killing himself. If he was to tell someone, he would be admitted. Perhaps that was best. Just until he was better.

"I don't really understand honey, but it will be okay." Feliks pat his shoulder with a small smile.

"Promise you won't tell anyone."

". . .I - I have to go check on a boy who swallowed a dime, be back later to check on you."

Feliks left the room. Toris looked back over to Alfred. His glasses were beginning to fall off his face. He had his coat off and his T-Shirt was crooked in the collar.

"Mr. Laurinaitis?"

Two large men in white scrubs were standing at the door. Toris was confused, but answered with a smile.

"Yes? May I help you?"

"You have to come with us." One man came forward. He had black hair and looked about in his forties. "If you come quietly, we will not have to resort to a straight jacket." Toris's heart dropped.

"W-what?" Toris said gulping. Had Feliks. . .no, surely not. Alfred yawned, and woke. He saw the two guys and looked at them confused.

"What's going on?" He asked tilting his head and fixing his glasses.

"Mr. Laurinaitis is being admitted to the mental institution. He is a threat to himself." The man said. Toris looked stunned. How could he?

Alfred bit his lip, remember that time in the bathroom. Toris nodded and undid his own IV, he looked over to his American friend.

"Thank you Alfred." He said quietly. "It is okay, do not look so worried."

The other man who had not spoken wheeled in a wheelchair and helped Toris into it. He blushed, not realizing he had nothing on. His hands went to cover himself. The man placed a gown in his lap and they walked off with him. Toris saw Feliks down the hall. He was avoiding his eyes looking down at a clipboard. He felt so betrayed and alone.


	9. Chapter 9

In Toris' first week of his new career he had been suffocated, molested, assaulted, and admitted. He changed in front of one of his coworkers, quickly. The gown he had to wear was horrid. It was way too short and since he was considered a code red patient, he was not allowed underwear. Toris was led to his room. It was specifically designed to prevent suicide, but ironically it was depressing to be in. The only thing it contained was a small cot-like bed. Since Arthur had pulled some strings, he did not need to be restrained. He was thankful for that at least.

Toris sat on the uncomfortable bed and huddled his arms. There was no bedding, not even a pillow to give him comfort. This was the worst week of his entire life. He wondered what had happened to Ivan and his sibling. He hoped they were worse off than himself.

"Knock knock."

Alfred stood at the entrance to the room. There was no door to it.

"Hello. It is nice to see a friendly face." Toris smiled, pitifully. "Could you thank Arthur for getting me to stay here instead of Cold Water? I would appreciate it."

"Sure. Anything for you pal." Alfred smiled unconvincingly and took a seat next to his friend. "You look strange without your hair, b-but it doesn't look bad."

"Thank you." Toris pushed his bang behind his ear, blushing. "And thanks for helping me. . .you know."

"Yeah, I'm glad I decided to come get you. When I saw you laying there, I...I was really worried."

Alfred's mind went back to that moment. Toris in the moonlight laying upon the bloody carpet. The dress he wore truly made him look like an angel. His face was so red, Toris noticed.

"You alright?"

"YES!" Alfred blurted. "I-I, just didn't get allot of sleep last night. I was worried about you."

"Oh." He was making Toris blush harder. "I am alright. They have me on medication and I have no desire to kill myself."

"Toris." Alfred reached and took hold of the brunet's hand. He looked into his eyes longingly. It was freaking Toris out a little. "I will protect you. If Arthur allows it, you can move in with me and I will take care of you until you're better." Toris's frightened look was turning Alfred on.

"A-Alfred." Toris pulled back his hand startled and confused. "I-I really, um, am flattered, but I am not. . .gay. I am not attracted to you and I get this feeling, you, are attracted to me."

"Aaaaaw! Toris, you ruined the moment!" Elizabeth walked in with a tray. "I was hoping for some good boy on boy." She winked at the two of them and gave Toris his food.

"I AM NOT G-GAY EITHER!" Alfred stood up looking guilty. "I-I was just being a good friend to Toris!"

"Settle down, Al. No-one is saying you are gay. I mean, Toris is very cute." She folded her arms and shrugged. "I would want to do him if I had a penis. Not trying to insult you Toris, but you look more like a girl than I do."

". . .Thank y-" Toris began, before being interrupted.

"Don't answer to that Toris! Liz is just being Liz." Alfred grumbled and pouted his lips.

Elizaveta chuckled. Toris ate the apple sauce on his tray and smiled. He was happy to have company while he was stuck.

"Arthur demanded that you come see him, Alfred. He was being an ass." Liz sighed. "That man really tries my patience. He is worse than Rodrick."

"Tell me about it." Alfred said under his breath.

Toris stopped eating and looked up at them. "Could, I speak to him later?" He asked.

"I will tell him you want to." Alfred sighed. "He is probably mad about me drinking all the milk."

Elizaveta left the room laughing. "See you guys later."

Toris watched her go. There was a nurse in the hall. He was being monitored by a muscular middle aged man with dark hair and a mustache. The man had to watch him 24/7 even when he showered and used the restroom. His eyes were staring into his. Toris shivered, he was creepy.

"Alfred, would you escort me to the bathroom?" Toris spoke quietly so the man could not hear him. "I rather be exposed in front of a friend instead of a stranger."  
The blonde's out of place hair seem to twitch. It was a weird question. Normally it would not be such a big deal, but he had strange feelings for Toris. A voice in his head was screaming at him to do it. Alfred was interested in seeing him naked, even though he was barely wearing anything as it was. He answered with a nod.

Alfred helped Toris limp to the door. They were stopped by the man.

"Where are you taking this patient?"

"I am taking him to the bathroom. He has to go. Don't worry, I will watch after him." Alfred explained.

"That is a job for a nurse, not a janitor. Why don't you go do your job, and I will do mine. Aye, mate?" The man said.

"Do you know who I am?"

"Yes. You are Dr. Kirkland's delinquent brother. I have only seen the man once, but I think he would agree with me. Should I call upstairs and ask?"

A growl came from Alfred, and he let Toris go. "Sorry Toris." He mumbled walking past the man.

The man smiled and lead him down the hall. Both men entered the bright white room. There was a toilet, and a sink. Nothing else, not even tissue. Toris took a seat on the cold porcelain. The nurse was looking at him intensely holding a roll of toilet paper. It was making it hard to go.

"There are no cameras in here." The man spoke, licking his upper lip. "No reason to be shy."

Toris quickly relieved himself. He had to get out of there. The man was scaring him and with his medication it would be hard to fight back, if he had to.

"I am finished, sir." Toris said and expected the man to bring him some tissue, but he just smiled. ". . .May I have some paper?"

"Yes, but you have to come get it."

"W-what? Sir, please just give me the roll. I would like to return to my room for a nap."

"I said, come get it. And do not dribble on the floor or I will have you lick it up." The man answered. "Listen, or I will rub your nose in what you just released in the toilet."

"Sir! I will have you reported and fired! Now, hand me the r-"

The man walked to him and pulled Toris off the seat. He bent him over with little effort, then pushed his head into the unflushed bowl. Toris struggled against the man. Water splashed over the floor. His head was pulled out by his bangs. He gasped and coughed.

"Dirty slut. Good thing it was just piss." The brute shoved three fingers down Toris' throat making him gag. Toris bit down and shoved the man away. "Bitch!" He exclaimed.

The smaller man wiped his face and spit to the side. His bite had broken the skin. Another person's blood tasted terrible. Toris foot was stomped on and he screamed out, he reached onto his attackers belt. His hand found a set of keys. Using a thrusting movement he used the largest key on the ring and stabbed blindly. It punctured the man's neck and he backed away bleeding heavily.

Ghostly white, Toris watched the man before him fall to the ground. There was something beautiful about it. A red stream formed leading to the drain in the center of the room. With a small smile on his face, Toris went to his knees. He stuck a finger in the flow. It was warm and felt inviting.

"What am I doing?" Toris was quick to his feet. He made a dash for the door. There was discomfort from his foot, but he continued down the hall til he saw Alfred mopping. His eyes closed and he clung to his shirt panting. Alfred nearly lost his balance.

"Toris, what happened?" Alfred said in astonishment. He put his arms around the man buried in his uniform. His hair and gown were wet.

"The suicide watch nurse, he assaulted me." Toris was close to tears. "I-I stabbed him, he needs help."

"Hush, I will take care of it. Stay here!" Alfred sat the frightened man on the floor and went for help. Toris huddled and rocked, trying to comfort himself. Maybe, he did belong in an Asylum.


	10. Chapter 10

Toris was taken down a long hall to an interrogation room. The handcuffs rubbed his wrists. He had been in them for hours sitting in an uncomfortable holding cell. In the room a police officer had him sit in a chair at the end of a long white table. The room was small and it had black blank walls. Above, was a single florescent light. It hurt Toris' eyes. He had gotten no sleep in the cell and wanted nothing more than a pillow to rest his head.

"This should not take long, Mr. Laurinaitis." The cop ensured.

Sighing, Toris shut his eyes. "Thank you, sir." He heard the door open.

"Mr. Beilschmidt, I was not expecting you."

Toris snapped his eyes open. A large serious looking man with slicked back blonde hair was now standing in the room. He wore a jet black suit and a white collared shirt.

"Out of my interrogation room." He demanded. His voice was deep and commanding. The officer left in a hurry, leaving he and Toris alone in the room. The man walked slowly to the other side of the table. He sat in the spot across from the timid brunet and stared at him with his narrow light blue eyes. His expression was scary. "I heard you are the psychotic bastard who killed a man for doing his job."

"It was self defense, s-sir." Toris gulped. "He attacked me."

"Why would a married 45 year old man with two kids jeopardize their job?"

"I do not know, sir."

"THEY WOULDN"T!" The German stood and hit his fist on the table between them. A elevated blue vain was throbbing on his forehead. "TELL THE TRUTH OF WHAT HAPPENED BEFORE I LOOSE MY TEMPER!"

"I told you the truth!" Toris cried out. He shut his eyes, just in case the man decided to take a swing at him. "Please, let me go. I promise I am not lying. The man escorted me to the restroom. He refused to give me paper, so I threatened I would tell someone that he was mistreating a patient."

"YOU KILLED A MAN OVER TISSUE?"

"He attacked me because I did not do as he said. He pressed my head into the toilet and choked my with his fingers! I bit him, he stepped on my injured foot and then I fought back with the only thing I could find. It all went so fast!" Toris was shaking like a leaf. "I did not mean to kill him."

"Why did you not call for help? Scheiße! There were 133 employees working, 26 were working on your floor! I am certain someone would have heard you, but bastards like you do not think, do they? I had to tell two 10 year old girls there father was never coming home, because of you! You deserve to rot in Hell for what you did! Unforgivable!"

"I did not mean to kill him." Toris repeated. "I went for help right away."

"Our lab results indicate that the man had been dead for over an hour before help arrived! If you went for help immediately after the stabbing occurred, how do you explain THAT?"

"I-I experienced a hallucination, after I stabbed him." The trembling man admitted quietly. "I am not mentally well. I was admitted to the asylum for a reason, sir."

"I will see to it that you never leave Markham." Warned Beilschmidt. "Insane bastards like you, belong in cages!" He slammed the door as he left, nearly cracking the wall.

Toris was overwhelmed with emotions. He rested his head on the table trying to calm himself. His heart was beating rabidly and he was still shaking. Everyone thought he was a criminal and he felt he was one too. Because of him, a family was grieving.

"Anastasia, did you do something naughty?" A smooth melodic voice asked in Toris' ear. Toris sat up, he felt a hand on his shoulder. A long faded scarf fell over his chest and into his lap. His breathing got heavy afraid to look who's it was. The hand left his shoulder, and cupped his cheek. It forced Toris to look. "Did you miss me?" Ivan asked peering down into his love's eyes.

"I-Ivan?" Toris stuttered. "How did you get in h-here?" Ivan smiled and tapped the side of Toris' head. He was a hallucination. If he was, he had no desire to see him. He shut his eyes hard trying to make it go away.

"Anastasia, you cannot get rid of me like that." Ivan chuckled and hung his arms around Toris. It was fascinating. Toris could feel the extra weight, and even the warmth of another man.

"You a-are not real." Toris said quietly. He leaned into Ivan, it felt nice to have someone hold him. "This is insane."

"Then, tell me to leave. I was nice enough to come give you company, but if you wish to be alone, I will go." Ivan said, his arms began to unravel. Toris quickly stopped him, grabbing his scarf.

"Please, stay." Toris pleaded rubbing the worn cloth against his cheek. It was so soft, Toris was amazed how real it felt. "I do not want to be alone."

"No-one in this world wants to be alone." The arms tightened. " I will never leave you. This, I promise."

"This is your fault." Toris whispered, shutting his eyes. "Why am I seeing you, if I dislike you?"

"I only know as much as you. Perhaps, you do not hate me as much as you think?" Ivan said. He was smiling. "Regardless of the reason, I am flattered you are hallucinating about me." When no response came, he moved to see why. Toris had fallen asleep. The scarf was still pressed against his cheek. "Sleep well, my princess."

* * *

Not far from the park on the opposite side of town, was a small coffee shop. A little bell jingled as a large man with light hair entered. He wore a coat and scarf. The woman smiled from behind the counter. The man returned a grin, taking a seat at a table by the window.

"What would you like, hun?" The woman was now beside him. He looked up at her, eyes hidden behind a pair of dark sunglasses.

"Just a coffee. Sugar and milk, please." The man's accent was very alluring.

"Coming right up." The waitress walked off and returned shortly with a mug. She sat it down with a bowl of sugar and creamer. "Here you are. Did you here about the man who died at Markham? There has not been a killing in years. News says he was murdered by a patient."

"Oh?" The man seemed more animated. "Did they release names?"

"I heard it was a foreigner. I am not sure where he is from, and a man from Liverpool. Seems the foreign patient went into a rage, viciously attacking the nurse in the bathroom. I bet he gets sent to the big house. No amount of crazy is an excuse for that kind of behavior."

"Oh." The man poured a large amount of sugar in his drink. "What a shame."

"I wish I could remember where the man was from. Li-Litutuania?"

"Lithuania?"

"That is it!" She exclaimed and walked away. "I was close."

The man left his pay on the table and a tip, then took his leave. He purchased a newspaper from the machine outside. On the front page was a picture of a young man with bangs over his face. His exposed eye was filled with kindness and warmth. The man removed his glasses and touched the photo gently. There was no mistaking it, it was Toris. He did not know how he had managed to get himself committed, but he did not belong there and there was no way he murdered someone. It had to be a lie.

* * *

Young Ivan snuck through the basement door. Tall shelves formed a labyrinth. They were filled with several jars of different sizes. In them were his father's lanterns. He had helped harvest most of them. He envied the collection and wished for his own. Ivan picked up his favorite pair, shaking the jar. The blue decorated orbs danced around each-other. He had named the two, Bell. His Anastasia had similar eyes, but they were green and far brighter. He kissed the glass and placed the jar back, carefully.

"Good evening Ivan. Natalia told me an interesting story." Said a deep mellow voice. Ivan turned. Two dark, fire lit mauve eyes watched him. Dark hair shadowed his face. "Tell me about, Anastasia."

"F-Father, I do not know what you speak of." Ivan lied. The hairs on his neck prickled.

"Liar." His father took a drag on his lit cigar and blew the smoke in the air above him. "The only reason I keep you two devils around is to collect specimens."

"Yes Sir, I am aware of my purpose."

"Then tell me why you are keeping one from me?" The dark haired man was looking down at his son in disgust. The burning end of the cigar was close to Ivan's face.

"You would not want him. One of the lanterns is dead."

"And how did it die?" Ivan's father brushed his hair back.

"I-It was too bright, he was too perfect, I had to fix it." Ivan hung his head. "I am sorry, sir."

"No, you will be sorry." His father hissed and smacked him across the face. "You are to bring this child to me."

"But Father, I love him. I cannot do that." Ivan explained.

"Love?" The older man laughed. He reached over Ivan, pulling an empty jar from a shelf. "You are not capable of having that feeling. I want you to collect what is mine, then bring him and the lanterns to me."

"Please, do not make me do this." Ivan pleaded, not taking the jar. "You can have my lanterns instead."

"I want him!" The man yelled. He threw the jar on the ground, it broke over Ivan's boots. His hand went for another jar on the shelf. Bell. Ivan quickly grabbed it before he could touch it."I am going to have you watch me gut him like a pig, and have you look at his insides while he begs for his life . For days I could keep him alive. Make him drag himself around spilling out onto the floor wishing for death. Once he dies, you will help me dispose of him."

"He is not trash!" Ivan defended his love. He hugged Bell to him, protectively.

"Really? Have you been treating him as a princess?" The man smirked, showing his perfectly lined teeth.

"I treat him very good!" Ivan was close to tears. "I can feel love, I know I do. I take care of him, just like you take care of me and Natalia!"

"You think that is love?"""" His father laughed hard, holding his stomach. "I do not love you cretins!"

"B-but, you are our father." Ivan felt a pain in his chest. He had thought for years, that he was being loved.

"Yes, but you both were mistakes. I only keep you around, to amuse me. That whore of a mother of yours did not even want you." The man's eyes were dark.

"She was not a whore!" Ivan yelled at the man and pushed into him. His father was enraged. He snatched the jar from Ivan and struck him across the face. The glass did not break, but it sent Ivan to the floor. Blood trickled into his eyes, looking up at the huge man.

"You will be punished." The man was undoing his belt. All Ivan could do was wait for it to be over.


	11. Chapter 11

There was a clock on the wall at the end of the solitary confinement hallway. The sound of its constant ticking was beginning to irritate Toris. He was sitting in a chair. They had placed him in a straight jacket and had cuffed his feet to it. The door was thick and metal plated. He felt as though he was in a prison cell.  
  
"Anastasia?" His hallucination said again. It had been calling his name for what felt like days, but really had only been hours.  
  
"What?" Toris finally answered. Looking up at the manifestation of Ivan sitting on the ceiling. Toris had bags under his eyes and looked sickly. His bangs had found their way into his eyes, he could not fix it. "Why are you bugging me?"  
  
"I am only doing as I said I would." Ivan was now standing at his side. He brushed Toris' hair out of his face. "I promised I would never leave you, thus I never will."  
  
"I am afraid I am going to be locked up forever." Toris whispered. "Look at me. I am a mess."  
  
"A beautiful mess." Ivan was playing with the straps on the jacket.  
  
"How can a mess be beautiful?" Toris shivered. The room was freezing. All he was wearing was a gown and an adult diaper. Ivan covered him with his trench coat, it was warm. Under it he was wearing a cream colored sweater. It was tight and showed off his muscular arms.  
  
"Just like you think, I, am a beautiful mess." Ivan poked Toris in the nose chuckling. It made him blush. "Perhaps your brain cannot tell the difference between hurt and pleasure."  
  
"Yes, true. After I came home from that incident I have found pleasure in pain. I hurt myself to feel good. Afterwards it makes me hate myself, hate you, hate the world, hate being alive. When I am hurting, I let go of everything, it is an escape from the world. It is like a drug."  
  
"You told the German you were hallucinating after you stabbed that man." Ivan sat on the floor at Toris' feet. "Tell me what went through that beautiful mind of yours."  
  
"I saw him bleeding. It was p-pretty." Toris spoke quietly. "I may have been jealous it was not mine. The sight of it going down the drain made me, smile. There is nothing funny about a man dying, so why did I smile?"  
  
"Your light keeps dimming Toris. It has been fading more quickly since you started your new life in this city." Ivan was close to his face now, his finger ran near the eye that was damaged. "You only have one lantern left , you need to take care of it."  
  
"What does that mean, Ivan?" Toris asked. "What is the light?"  
  
"Hope." Ivan whispered, kissing his cheek. "You are loosing it, along with your mind. Once the light is gone, it is nearly impossible to get it back."  
  
"I do not believe your presence is helping anything." Toris smirked and sighed. "You are not so bad, when you are not trying to hurt me. Too bad you are not the real Ivan."  
  
"You like me?"  
  
"No, but I do not hate you."  
  
Beyond the door, something was happening. Two men were bickering at one another. Toris tried hard to focus of their conversation.  
  
"Why did you not tell me this before, you Git?"  
  
"Because, your secretary told me that you didn't want to be bothered by me and kept hanging up like you ordered her to!"  
  
Toris recognized the two voices, it was Alfred and Arthur. His heart quickened. Had they come to see him? The lock made a loud clank and it opened slowly. Alfred ran at him smiling. Toris forced a smile back. He went behind him and undid the jacket. It felt good, his arms were beginning to get stiff.  
  
"How you holding up?" Alfred asked.  
  
"Alright, I guess. I am very tired, but it is hard to sleep sitting upright." Toris kept his eyes down. He did not want to look into those sad blue eyes, nor did he want to see his hallucination grinning from the corner of the room.  
  
"I can remove the jacket, however, I do not have authority to take off the cuffs." Arthur said, closing the door behind himself. "I just heard of the situation, Alfred filled me in. I would have responded faster, but Alfred is not the best story teller. There are allot of corrupt, nasty people who work here. I am still weeding them out. I feel responsible for what happened, I am sorry."  
  
"Fuck yeah, you are responsible! This is all your fault!" Alfred pointed at Arthur. Arthur scowled and took a breath to yells something back, but Toris beat him to it.  
  
Toris shook his head. "He is not to blame."  
  
"The police want to take you back to the station. They want to put you on trail for murder." Arthur explained to him. "I have a friend that is a lawyer, he is willing to represent you."  
  
"Who? You have no friends." Alfred mumbled, leaning on the wall. Ivan was beside him, Toris was watching him. His hallucination had somehow acquired a knife. He was running it over the America's neck softly.  
  
"A-a lawyer?" Toris stuttered. Ivan circled Alfred, going through the wall. "I-I really do not have the money for one."  
  
"Arthur is going to pay for it." Alfred said stepping forward.  
  
"Yes, I am willing to pay for their services for you." Arthur sighed, crossing his arms. "It is the least I can do."  
  
"They are very kind to you." Ivan was next to Toris again, talking in his ear. "Look how bright their lanterns are. Maybe, if you take them you will get brighter."  
  
"Yes." Toris spoke quietly, now staring at Alfred's big blue. They were bright, very bright. "Uh, th-thank you Mr. Kirkland. That is kind of you." His eyes kept peering into Alfred's. Alfred took a step back, face turning crimson.  
  
"Alfred likes you and trusts you. You could easily take his. Use that beauty of yours to your advantage."  
  
"I will go let him know." Arthur said with a brow raised, he went to the door. Alfred followed close behind with the straightjacket over his shoulder.  
  
"ALFRED!" Toris said, louder than he wanted. He looked back at him. Those eyes, Toris wanted them. "Stay, awhile longer, please?"  
  
"Sure." Alfred smiled, Arthur shut the door. It clicked, locking them in. "What's up? You can talk to me about anything." He sat on the floor.  
  
"Looks like you got him wrapped around your finger. Tell him to come closer."  
  
"Would you, sit on my lap?" Toris said embarrassed. Alfred looked at the brunet strangely, but stood and sat on the man's lap careful not to hurt him. Toris was far smaller than he was. "F-face me. . . .please." Alfred did as told, and swirled around. The man was now between is legs. Alfred placed his hands on the back of the chair. They looked at each-other, both blushing.  
  
"Take them."  
  
"Toris, this is a little. . .weird." Alfred said. He hoped no-one walked in on them.  
  
"How?" Toris asked the voice, touching Alfred's jaw. His heart was so fast. It pounded in his ears.  
  
"Well, it just. . .would look funny if someone came in."  
  
"You never swallowed the medication they gave you. Kiss him."  
  
Toris slipped his fingers through Alfred's blonde locks and pulled him into his lips. He kissed him deeply, tongue shoving the undissolved pills down the American's throat. Alfred felt something go down, but was too excited by the kiss to care. He kissed back, exploring the other man's mouth. It was thrilling and tasted like apple sauce. After a few make out minutes, Alfred's vision blurred and he pulled away.  
  
"Wh-what's happening?" Alfred said weakly, head resting on Toris' shoulder. Toris shoved him off and he fell onto his back. "Toris?" He questioned, looking up at the man above him.  
  
At the sound of his name, Toris regained his senses. "A-Alfred! I am sorry, forgive me." He bent down, but was limited with movement due to the ankle cuffs connecting him to the chair. "It will only last a little bit, promise." Toris took the jacket and placed it under Alfred's head for a pillow. "I have been seeing things, I-Ivan told me to attack you. I am so sorry!"  
  
"No, I am." Alfred avoided looking at Toris. He pulled a small device from his pocket it hummed, something shot into Toris' face. Toris spasmed and yelped, electricity coursing through his body. Alfred held the trigger down harder.  
  
"Stop! Ah, please stop!" Toris screamed, trying to get the prongs off his face. Alfred stopped when Toris collapsed, twitching. He sat up and pulled the wires off Toris. The prongs had left burn wounds. One was on his neck, the other close to his eye. "I-I said I was sorry, w-why does e-everyone. . ." Toris was sobbing. "I thought...y-you were my friend."  
  
Alfred got up slowly, and wiped his mouth. "Shut up!" He said glaring at the cowering man. "I aint going to tell anyone about this, but I aint doing it for your sake. I don't care if you use Arthur's lawyer, or whatever the hell you want to do. Just never, ever, come to me for help again! I do not give a shit about what happens to you! Psycho!" Alfred yelled while leaving, he did not even look back.  
  
Toris had wet himself, but he did not care. He stayed on the ground, tears still flowing down his cheeks. He had lost one of his only friends, a good friend. A hand extended down to him.  
  
"Anastasia, are you alright?" Cooed Ivan. "I am sorry I pressured you into that."  
  
"N-no, it was my fault." Toris said, sitting up, but not taking the hand. "I made the decision to listen." He ran a finger over the burn by his eye. It stung.  
  
"That looks painful."  
  
"This is nothing." Toris shrugged and sat back in the chair. "You gave me far worse. I am worried about my eye though."  
  
"Why is that?"  
  
"I can see from it." Toris blinked and moved his bangs aside. It was fuzzy, but some of the vision in his eye had returned. He had not been able to see with it for nearly ten years.  
  
"That is good thing, da?" Ivan smiled and put a heavy palm on top of Toris' head. He pet him gently.  
  
"Yes, I suppose." Toris produced a small grin. "Does it look less, milky?"  
  
"Maybe. I cannot say, cause you yourself does not know."  
  
Sighing, Toris rested his head on the back of the chair. "Oh, yes. I guess you are right." He looked at the spots on the ceiling, shutting his good eye. Everything was foggy and red, similar to looking through stained glass.


	12. Chapter 12

A trial was set for Toris. He chose to have no jury, meaning his fate rested in the hands of one person. Toris did not care about his future any longer, he was too busy inside his own little world. He did not know the day of the week, nor the time. His eyes followed his invisible guest from the small cot bed. He was pacing around the room nervously.

"Are you not worried?" The product of his mind asked. Ivan bent over him and groaned. Toris was drooling down the side of his face. His hair was matted and he had not slept in days. Every time he shut his eyes, he saw Alfred bleeding from empty eye sockets. "You look a mess. We should go shower and sleep."

"Why does it matter?" Toris mumbled, unmoving from his position. A tray of un-eaten food was on his bed stand. Ivan looked over at it, frowning.

"At least eat a little. There is some apple sauce, you like apple sauce." Ivan said hopeful.

"I do not want anything." He rolled over, holding his stomach. It ached, but it felt painfully good. A knock at the door came from behind him. He did not turn to look. Really, he did not care who it was or what they wanted.

"Toris, you have a visitor." Liz said. When Toris did not answer, she turned and left sighing. "Go on in, maybe you can get through to him. The little fart is starting to itch me the wrong way."

The lanky blonde dressed in very feminine clothing, stepped inside. His hair was pulled back with a clip. He had a little white satchel strapped across his chest. The keychain connected to the zipper jingled when he walked.

"Liet. It's me, Po." The boy said soft spoken. "I brought you a get well present." He pulled a small yellow gift bag from his man purse, and held it up. "It is just a little something, I like, picked up for you." Toris did not say a word. Feliks hated to be ignored, there was no way he was going to stand for this. He walked fiercely to the bed and flipped Toris over. "Listen, pre-Madonna. I came to see you, so like, sit up, open your present, and stop being a bitch."

The flamboyant man slapped the bewildered Toris across the face. Toris sat up and took the bag quietly. His hand slipped inside. He pulled out a new pair of gardening gloves. They were a plaid green. Toris put one one and examined it. He smiled at Feliks, nearly in tears.

"I love them." He said hoarsely. "Thank you. This is a wonderful gift."

"I know honey, I picked it out." Feliks shrugged with a conniving smirk. "When you get your bum out of here, you like, can plant a garden at my place. I have plenty of room in the yard. You can be my gardening boy, mmmkay?"

"Yes, alright." Toris placed the gloves aside. "I do not think they are going to release me."

"Do not talk like that!" Feliks said cupping Toris' cheeks. "You are a fighter! You got through these thoughts before, you can do it again."

"They were not this bad, back then. It has evolved into something worse." Toris pushed his friend's hands away. "Ever since I stabbed that man, it has gotten worse."

"How?"

"I-I want to hurt people, not just me anymore and I can see things that are not there." He rubbed his bad eye. "I know you saw my scars, that time."

Feliks' eyes went large and he thought back, back to that time that felt so long ago.

* * *

Feliks had invited Toris to stay over. Well, in a way he had. He was holding his underwear hostage until he came. Toris walked up to the white door of the middle class house. It had rusty brown siding and was very plain. Not what Toris expected at all. He swung his overnight bag off his shoulder and rung the bell. The door opened before the sound of it stopped echoing through the home. Feliks was dressed in a pink frilly mini-skirt and a white tank.

"He-eeey, smexy stranger." He smirked, and pulled the skirt up slightly to show more leg. "Like my fit?"

Toris sighed, and walked in. Feliks often dressed like a woman. "Can I have my underwear, please?"

Feliks rolled his eyes and took Toris' hand. "Come on, to my room." Toris never appreciated his good style.

"Do you care if I take a bath? I have been at the hospital for a few days, and have not had the chance to." He asked pulling back his hand. Feliks turned back.

"Sure." Feliks lead Toris up the stairs. "How is Lilly Flower doing, anyhow?"

"Mother says she is feeling better and will come home soon." Toris said cheerfully. His mother had been in the hospital for months. "She said hi, I told her I was staying over."

"That is good." Feliks opened the first door at the top of the steps. Within, was the normal things you would expect to see in a bathroom. The bathtub was directly across from them sitting below a window. The window was small and had a stained glass rose hanging from the center. Soft yellow curtains were drawn, framing the tub. Toris was staring at the decoration, losing himself in memories. Feliks pushed him forward, to knock him out of it. "Towels are in the closet and you are welcome to use any bubble bath you like. I recommend, 'I want to Fill you like an Eclair'. My uncle has his own brand of yummy bath products. Do you want me to stay and wash your back for you?"

"Thank you." Toris ignored the last comment, he was used to his teasing. Feliks left the room, unsatisfied with his reaction. He shut the door, but left it cracked a smidgen in hopes of seeing Toris' junk.

Toris ran his bath, adding some of the bubble bath Feliks had suggested. His fingers skimmed the stream of water. It was a little on the warm side, but felt good. He unrobed, tossing his clothes into a pile as the tub filled. Toris shut off the water and got in, sliding into the water slowly. He exhaled deeply and washed his scarred body with haste. Being naked was very uncomfortable for him. From the door, Feliks was watching. His eyes ran over the boy's deep old wounds. He gasped and went off down the hall covering his mouth. Toris heard the floor creak and directed his attention to the door. He was just in time to catch a glimpse of Feliks' skirt.

* * *

"Your scars." Feliks whispered. Toris nodded. "This has something to do with that? Did you do, that, to yourself?"

"No." He answered, laying back onto the pillow. "When I was young, I was kidnaped and tortured by a man. I escaped, thankfully, but he scarred me more than just physically. I have coped with it best I could over the years, but when I began working here at this Asylum it brought back those horrible memories. That man, is Ivan Braginski. Fate brought us back together. I do not know why, other than, God wants me to suffer for some unknown reason. He will not let me be, not even now. I see that man everywhere."

"Toris." Feliks hugged his childhood friend tightly. He had not known, he wished he would have asked sooner. "Sweetie, we will get through this."

"We?" Toris repeated and shoved the blonde away. "Where were you when I was being belted? Where were you when a tube was forced down my throat and my stomach was pumped full til I puked, over and over again? Were you there when I was drowning in my own stomach contents? Or how about on the floor bleeding, begging for your life as a ruthless man took another swing at your face with a blunt object that just happened to be laying around? NO? I did not think so, Feliks. I lived in that hell for months! There is no WE, there is only you and I. Do not try to understand, because you were not there! You do not KNOW what I went through. There is only one being on this Earth who does and that man's name is, Ivan Braginski."

"Toris, there is no reason to behave like an ass!" Feliks glared at the brunet. He walked from the bed with his hand on his hip. "Let me know when your attitude isn't shit. Later." Before he was to the door, he was snatched and forced onto the wall. Toris had hold of his shirt in fist fulls.

"WHY IS IT A CRIME FOR ME TO SHOW ANY EMOTION?" Toris raised his voice, eyes hidden. His head was hung. "Why can everyone around me act as they feel, yet I cannot? I am expected to hide myself, but why?"

"No-one is expecting that! It is all in your head." Feliks said. "You do not give anyone a chance to understand. For some reason you have it programmed inside that brain of yours, that you have to hide what you think and feel. Get some balls and just say it! Maybe if you did not cram everything inside, you would be less insane! Friends are here to listen, to help!"

"Just like you helped me get admitted to this Asylum?" Toris looked up at the blonde. His expression was dark. He smiled, brows lowered. "Thank you, friend."


	13. Chapter 13

Feliks kicked Toris in the crotch, which sent him to his knees.

"I called them, because I didn't want you hurting yourself. I care about you." Feliks said opening a new piece of gum and popping it into his mouth. He threw the rest of the pack next to Toris. "Your mouth is rotten, you can have that. You're welcome." His hips swayed as he left. The flirtatious man noticed Alfred pretending to sweep near the room. Feliks smirked and tapped the janitor on the shoulder. "Hey yoooou. I remember you from the hospital."

Alfred twitched and turned to face the girlish looking man. "Hi. I remember you too, your that nurse." He smiled nervously, he found him cute. Not as cute as Toris, but still the dude was cute. "Toris' friend."

"Have you been spying on us?" Feliks questioned, pointing his French tipped index finger at the American's face.

"Wh-what? NO!" Alfred denied. "Me and Toris have not been talking."

Feliks poked him in the forehead, Alfred backed up. "Don't you be mean to him, or I will totally kick that sexy little booty of yours."

"He is unstable." He replied, blushing. It was true, he had been eavesdropping. "I have to keep an eye on him, so he does not attack anyone. Uh, you think my butt is, sexy?"

"Bullshit. You can't full me, hun." Feliks folded his arms. "And yes, your bum is totally scandalous." He added, pleased by the man's reaction.

"O-oh."

"Face it, you have fallen in love with the little psycho. I don't blame you, Toris is one lovely number. I have been trying to hit that for years." The man patted Alfred on the back and started down the hall. "Good luck, keep him safe for me!"

"Love?" Alfred looked as though he had just bitten into something sour. He sneaked a peek inside Toris' room. The brunet was sprawled out on the floor making puppets with his hands. One eye's lid was lower than the other and bruised. Alfred figured he had caused it with his taser. "Hey, Toris?" He walked inside.

"Alfred." Toris lowered his hands and sat up. "You should not be around me. I tried to hurt you."

"I-I am sorry for tasering you." Alfred squatted next to him and stroked his cheek. "Does it hurt?"

"Yes, but I like it." He was chewing on a strained of hair, staring at his hallucination not far from them. His hand out-reached and took the pack of gum, shaking. "You know if you shove gum into your rectum, it burns?"

Alfred took the package from him and opened a piece. He moved Toris' hair away and stuck it into his mouth. "Gum is meant for chewing." Toris chewed it slowly. It was mint flavored and made his mouth water. Ivan was standing at the door looking annoyed. His arms were crossed and he was glaring at Alfred. Alfred moved closer, blocking Toris' view of the Russian. "You look tired, pal. We should get you to bed."

"I do not sleep." Toris spoke in monotone. Ignoring the man, Alfred stood and picked Toris up. He was so light, it made Alfred wonder when the last time he had eaten was. Toris was placed on the bed delicately. Alfred took the container of applesauce from the untouched food tray and opened it. His fingers retrieved the gum from Toris' mouth.

"Eat this." He held a spoonful to his lips. Toris obeyed Alfred's orders and took a bite. It tasted incredible, but everything tastes good when you are starving. Toris' stomach growled, making his cheeks flushed. "I bet your tummy is thanking you." Alfred said smiling, feeding him another scoop. "You need to take better care of yourself." Toris swallowed and nodded in agreement.

"Y-you are not mad at me anymore?" He asked Alfred. His eyes were huge and he looked like a kicked puppy.

"No." Alfred sighed. "Just get better. I am sorry for what I said, I blurt things out sometimes that I don't really mean." He wiped Toris' mouth and had him rest his head on the pillow. "Now get some sleep, your trial is tomorrow."

"Ivan does things to me in my sleep." Toris said under his breath.

"Braginski, will not lay a finger on you." Alfred stated, covering the man. His blue eyes ran over Toris' face. They made him feel safe. "I will watch over you, now go to sleep."

Toris shut his eyes, a warm hand caressed his cheek. He had not felt so much love since his mother had tucked him into bed when he was a child. She would send him off to sleep with a lullaby.

"Rest your head, it is nothing but the wind. Do not you threat, it is nothing but the sound of the branches blowing. Sleep, my child, dream sweetly til day does break. My flower, sleep peacefully all through the night." Toris sung quietly. His voice was haunting, Alfred listened to the man intently. It reminded himself of his own past. "No more crying, I cannot stand the sound. Hush my flower, do not wilt. Stay happy for me, smile in the sun. The darkness, it will not last long."

"You have fallen so far Toris." Alfred said, kissing the man tenderly.

Toris had dozed off, Alfred was quick to follow.

* * *

"Alfred, you ungrateful Git!" Arthur yelled over the patter of rain. He was drenched and bleeding from his shoulder. One hand clenched the spot tightly, the other held a gun. Down the alleyway, Alfred mirrored the Englishman. The look in both their eyes was bitter.

"Shut up! Stop trying to control me!" Alfred took to the brick wall next to him for support. He coughed, spitting up blood. It dripped down his torn t-shirt, staining the material red. Arthur's bullet must have hit lower than he had thought.

"Alfred." Arthur staggered closer to him, his eyes less dangerous. He reached for him. Alfred reaction time was quick, he pressed the barrel of his gun against the other's head. Arthur, moved his parallel to Alfred's heart. They stood, their blood mixing together in a puddle beneath their feet. Arthur's hand shook, this was madness. He did not know how things had gotten so bad between them. "How did it come to this?" There were tears forming in his eyes, he dropped his gun and went to his knees.

* * *

Alfred was being shaken, he woke. Toris was over him looking down at him concerned. His hair was back in his mouth. It was dark in the room, Alfred wondered how long he had been out for.

"Alfred, you were crying." He informed. Alfred quickly wiped his eyes dry and sat up. "Are you alright?"

"Eh, I am fine. Just allergies." Alfred inspected his watch, his shift had ended hours ago. He stretched. Toris handed him his glasses and he put them on. The bed was littered with gum wrappers. "Uh, Toris?"

"Yes?"

"What did you do with that gum Feliks gave you?"

Toris shifted uncomfortably, holding his gown down embarrassed. "I-I rather not say."

"I told you gum is for chewing." The blonde put his hands on Toris' shoulders. "I want you to go to the bathroom and take it out, please." Toris nodded and walked out of the room. His movements were zombielike. Alfred stood adjusting his shirt. He went to the door and watched Toris go into the restroom. The plan was to leave when he came back. Alfred had never been at work this late before. It was a little creepy. He could understand why Toris was having problems sleeping. After a few moments had past Toris exited and slothfully came back to his room. "Lets get you back into bed, then I have to get going. I will visit tomorrow."

"You, do not hate me?" Toris asked. His eyes looked so dull and worn.

"No." Alfred said helping the man back into bed and tucking him in tightly. "Goodnight"

Toris only starred, he was still unsure if what he was experiencing was real or not. Alfred took his leave. He ran down the hallways, down the stairs and out the exit as fast as possible. The parking lot was even scarier, but at least he did not have to wait for a bus. His motorcycle was parked only a few spots away. It was spotlighted by a street light, or in this case a parking lot light. He shoved his hand into his pockets. The hairs on his neck were raised as he walked to it. He felt like someone was watching him. In the corner of his vision he saw something move. He stopped and looked around himself, pulling out his taser gun.

"Come out, I know someone is there!" Alfred yelled. His throat was seized firmly from behind, he dropped his weapon. The heavy smell of vodka made Alfred feel sickly. Without even looking he knew who the bastard was.

"When I heard someone had died at the Asylum, you can imagine my disappointment when I discovered it was not you." Ivan said into his ear.

"What the hell do you want asshole?"

"You, are going to help me get Toris out of here." Whispered the mauve eyed man. He nuzzled his nose into Alfred's hair. "You reek of him."

"And you just plan reek!" Alfred was struggling. Ivan pulled him to the grass into the dark shadow of the building. He let his neck go, then shoved him forward. Alfred braced himself against the outside wall of the Asylum.

"Is this why you took him from me? To lock him up inside this hell and have him all to yourself?" Ivan asked punching the brick near Alfred's head. Blood began to run down his knuckles.

"What? No, of course not! I saved him from you. You broke into his home and hurt him! Not to mention all the shit you did to him before that."

"Before?" Ivan repeated the cocky man. He licked the blood from his hand. "What do you know?"

Alfred smirked up at Ivan. "I know about the scars, his childhood and I know he hates the fuck out of you." He fixed his glasses and shrugged. Anger arose up inside of Ivan. The man was so infuriating, Ivan smiled.

"Oh, is that so?" He put a hand atop Alfred's head and pressed down, hard. "So I was right, you two are on pretty friendly terms."

"What's it to you?" Alfred was pulling at the man's wrist.

"Are you really so thick headed? I told you, I want to get him out of here." Ivan said pressing harder. The force sent Alfred to his knees, Ivan bent down next to him.

"Get off! He is better off in there, than with you!"

Ivan's eye twitched. "Is that so?" From his pocket he retrieved the taser. "I found your toy, you dropped it." He shoved the end of it into Alfred's mouth. "Let me return it to you."

"Do'w 't 'astard!"

Ivan contemplated the idea in his head. If he did, Alfred's throat would swell, probably causing him to suffocate. How appealing it sounded, it would make Toris sad. He reluctantly removed the weapon and returned it to his pocket.

"I would very much appreciate your help in breaking Toris out of here. Please, help me. Do it for him." Ivan said calmly. "You have seen him, does he seem like himself?"

"No. He has been acting strangely." Alfred got up from the ground and brushed off his pants. He kept his eyes lowered. Ivan raised his chin.

"Alfred, your eyes are so bright, it is sickening."

"M-my eyes?" He looked up at him. Ivan could see his smile reflected back in Alfred's glasses. "Don't touch me!" Alfred smacked away his hand.

_"Help Toris, he will not receive the help he needs in there. I know you feel the same, I can see it in those lanterns."_


	14. Chapter 14

Toris was awake. His slumber had not lasted more than an hour. He had been trying hard to fall back asleep but, it was hard. The hallucination of Ivan was straddling him, gawking down at his face. Toris starred back up at him following the outline of his round cheeks. His eyes sparkled in what little light there was from outside the window.

"Toris, you look so tired." He said rubbing the spot behind Toris' ear. "It would be nice, just to sleep forever, da?"

"What are you saying?" Toris asked.

"This hall is not well monitored, it would be easy to steal everyone's pills."

"You think I should kill myself?"

"Da, I do." Ivan bluntly said. "You have been contemplating it for days now. It is time to make a choice."

Toris had, but he was hesitant. "Yes, but Feliks and Alfred. They would never forgive me for doing something like that." He turned his face away from the Russian's judging eyes.

"Your happiness is more important, Anastasia." His imaginary hand seized Toris' hand and pulled him from the mattress. Toris arose, following the man out the door. "It is time for you to go home. Your mother is waiting, you should not make her worry."

"Mother." Toris was in a trace-like state. Quietly, he went room to room collecting pill after pill. When he had his hand full he found a spot to sit under the water fountain. The wall was cool on his back. He opened his fist and gazed at the muti-colored capsules. "Ivan, are they not pretty?" Ivan did not speak, Toris looked both ways down the hallway, Ivan was far away. A frown was on his face and he was walking slowly towards him. He stopped before him and bent down, reaching for the pills in his hand. Toris closed his fingers and turned away protecting them. "These are mine, why are you trying to take them?"

"Toris, give them to me." Ivan took hold of Toris and forced him to open his hand. The pills fell to the floor.

Toris squirmed, crying. "St-stop! Mother is waiting for me!"

Alfred had heard the yelling. He was searching for Toris in his empty room, he hurried to where he was. Ivan was hugging the sobbing man to his chest. Toris was still resisting, grabbing for the scattered capsules.

"Toris!" Alfred called to him. Toris stopped moving and looked up. Sad bright blue eyes shined down upon him. Ivan let Toris go, he crawled to Alfred. He clung to his pant leg.

"Why did he tell me to do it, then stop me?" Toris cried in anguish. "Let me die, God, please, just let me die!"

Alfred removed his coat and laid it over the hysterical man, letting him cry. Ivan had gotten up, back turned away from them. He did not want to see Toris, there was no light left in his lanterns. Seeing him this way almost made Russia not crave him.

When Toris had settled down, Alfred picked him up like a child. His face was covered in the jacket. He was still whimpering softly when Ivan led the way out of the Asylum. He had a black car waiting for them. Alfred took the back seat with Toris.

"Where are we going, Braginski?" Alfred asked. He held Toris tightly in his arms.

"I have a friend not far. He has agreed to help hid us for awhile. We are all criminals now, there is no turning back." Ivan explained, driving. "You sure you want to continue on with us?"

"Shut up! Like, I am going to leave you alone with Toris!"

"You are leaving behind your family." Ivan said,

genuinely sympathetic.

"Arthur will be fine." Alfred said, unconvincingly. He knew Arthur would be heart broken, but he could not leave Toris.

"You love Toris, do you not?"

" _I AM NOT GAY!_ Toris isn't either, stupid." Alfred blushed, looking down at the covered man on his lap.

"You failed to answer my question. Do you love Toris?" Ivan's tone was deep and serious.

"Yeah." He mumbled. "I do. But, it doesn't matter. It would never work out between us, you know? If he was born a girl, maybe, but he is a guy."

"Is that really so important to you?" Ivan slammed on the brakes, nearly knocking Toris off the seat. "Male, female, why does it matter? Toris is perfect the way he is. If you cannot accept him for who he is, then you have no right to say you love him. He is kind, caring, gentle, and a beautiful person."

"I know what he is! I don't need your impute!"

"Then tell him, you love him." The Russian's grip on the wheel tightened. Ivan was expecting Alfred to refuse. He looked over his shoulder and his eyes widened. Toris had awaken, and was kissing Alfred. He was on his knees, supporting himself on the window. The American's lips pressed firmly against his. Alfred was in as much astonishment as Ivan, moaning into the kiss. Toris backed away and sat back down. His handprints still remained on the glass, a reminder of what had occurred. Ivan went back to driving, accelerating quickly. Alfred watched Toris out of the corner of his eye. He was swaying back and forth. It seemed he was in his own little world.

"T-Toris?" Alfred said, gently touching his shoulder. Toris stopped moving and shifted his gaze quickly to the man beside him. His eyes were blood shot and he looked deranged. "U-um, are you. . .okay?"

"Do not worry about me." Toris smiled. "You are very pretty. I-I am sorry I was so forward, it is just, I have never kissed a girl and I wanted to give it a try."

"Yes, she is a very lovely girl. You have excellent taste." Ivan chuckled, Alfred kicked the back of his seat.

"Thank you Pablo. I need a few minutes to look over the specials."

"Pablo?" Alfred laughed loudly. "H-he thinks you're a fuckin' waiter!"

Ivan pulled over and got out. He opened Alfred's door, yanking him from his seat.

"Alfred, do you know how many people I have killed?" The Russian smiled down at the idiot. "I would not push your luck."

"STOP!" Toris yelled and separated the two of them. He had Alfred's coat on, it was much too big. His fist flew into Ivan's face. Alfred pulled Toris behind him, in case of retaliation. Ivan grinned wide, his cheek swelling.

"Braginski, calm down. Remember, he is loopy to the max right now." Alfred held up his hands. He was worried about Toris' safety. Ivan dropped his smile and Alfred turned to see why. Toris was running down the street. "Toris! Do not run!" They ran after him. Ivan was surprisingly quick for his size and much more graceful, compared to Alfred. At some point in running after Toris, it had become a competitive race. Alfred and Ivan pushed at each-other as they got closer to the brunette. Ivan tripped Alfred with his foot and he crashed to the ground. He captured Toris around the waist as he fell, crushing him.

"Ah-uh! OW, ow, ow!" Toris screamed kicking and holding his arm. It appeared to be broken. Alfred got off him and began to freak out.

"Shit! See what you did bastard? Shit, shit, shit!" Alfred tried to comfort his hurt companion, sitting him up. Ivan grabbed the back of Toris' jacket and drug him back towards the car, ignoring the screams. The road was abandoned, but with all the commotion someone was bound to come investigate, eventually. "What are you doing, you are going to hurt him more!" Alfred hurried after them. Ivan tossed Toris into the back seat and shoved Alfred in after him. He slammed the door shut, driving off with haste.

"If we get caught, we will all be in deep trouble." Ivan said calmly. Toris was whimpering and curled into a ball. The pain seemed to send him back into reality. "I apologize, Toris. When we get to the safe house, we will take care of your injury."

"I am going to kick your ass when we get there." Alfred sneered.

"Da, whatever you say."

The dark car pulled up next to a small Chinese restaurant. Ivan took Alfred and Toris inside. Toris' legs were bruised and scabbed over. He leaned on Alfred to help him walk. The restaurant was dark. There did not seem to be anyone around. It had red walls with Chinese themed decor throughout. From the ceiling hung colorful un-lit lanterns. They hovered over several small tables, which had condiment trays as center pieces.

"So, where is this friend of yours?" Alfred asked, helping Toris take a seat in a chair. Ivan walked to the counter. Next to the register was a bell, he rang it a few times.

"A'ya! You know I cannot stand that noise." A man popped up from behind the counter and snatched the bell away. He was Asian with long dark hair. It was pulled into a ponytail and his bangs were parted to the side. Alfred was not entirely sure of his sex. The panda feety pajamas threw him off a tad.

"Wong. It is nice to see you." Ivan smiled. "These two are my companions. We would like to stay a couple nights, til our plane arrives."

"Yes, I guess I can offer you a room to stay in. As long as you pay!" The man pointed a stern finger at the large Russian. Their size difference was staggering.

"Of coarse." Ivan pulled Alfred close to him. "This one is a son of a rich family."

"Oh, I see. You pay now, then you stay." Wong held his hand out to Alfred.

"I don't have nothin'." Alfred grumbled.

"No pay, no room."

"How about we pay with this American's body?" Ivan suggested. The Asian hopped over the counter and circled Alfred. He examined him, grabbing his gut.

"He would have to go on a diet." Wong said bluntly. "My brothel is not plus size."

"HEY! I am not fat!" Alfred protested. "Also, I aint selling myself."

"I would accept the little one over there, but he looks HIV positive. That is not good for business."

"Toris, is not on the market." Ivan said exhaling deeply. He rummaged in his pocket and gave his oriental friend a handful of bills. "How about this and the car out front?"

"Yes, this will do, for now." Wong shoved it away and hurried them up the staircase behind the register. Alfred piggy backed Toris up the steps. They were shown to a small room with a queen mattress on the floor. The moldy white wallpaper was pealing and there was no door. The ceiling was leaking. A large overflowing pot collected water in the center of the room, soaking into the carpet. Wong continued down the hall. "Night."

"This is pretty shitty." Alfred laid Toris on the bed. He removed his jacket and winced at the sight of the man's arm. It was purple and twisted around. "Ow, damn."

"Hush." Toris whispered. His fingers wrapped about his wrist and he twisted it more. The bone was sharp, it tore through the skin. He shut his eyes. "I-It feels so good."

"TORIS!" Ivan ripped Toris' hand away from his arm. He was bleeding from the wound. Alfred tied a sock around his upper arm to stop the blood flow. "We cannot fix this now."

"What do you mean?" Alfred said. Toris was giggling, making his arm flop back and forth. "We are going to take him to get it fi-"

Ivan pressed his fingers into the wound on Toris' arm and pull in opposite directions. The tissue began to separate as he tore the mangled part of the appendage from his body. Tearing flesh made a distinct spurting sound, making Alfred sick and unable to observe. Toris, however, did not seem to mind, he was watching Ivan intently.

"You are being such a good boy." The Russian smiled up from his work. Toris smiled back. His lip cracked from being dry, blood droplets forming.

"Thank you. That is such a kind thing to say." Toris blushed. His brain had put up a barrier from reality.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (( lol
> 
> I can't with the arm thing-hahaha.
> 
> So unnecessary. Past me, just couldn't leave anything be. My god.))


	15. Chapter 15

Crickets chirped from outside. The rain had dissipated, leaving the night air fresh and clean. A draft of cool air ran a shiver up Alfred's spine. He had been hog tied, curled next to Toris. Alfred had tried to run for help, Ivan did not like that. Bloody bandages wrapped up Toris' arm, his hand gone and replaced with a stump. He was running a fever, a reaction from the lose of his hand. Ivan was sitting in the corner contently. Alfred watched him in disgust as he gnawed at the severed bodypart. Warm blood dribbled down his smiling face.

"You should get sleep Alfred. We have a long trip tomorrow." Ivan sucked on its fingers. He rolled his tongue over them, sliding the appendages slowly in and out.

"Bastard." Alfred kept his voice down, for Toris' sake. "Where are we even going?"

"Lithuania, Toris' home."

"Lithuania?"

Alfred's coat pocket began to buzz from across the room. Ivan curiously went to it and pulled out a cellphone. The screen was lit up with the callers name flashing. Alfred squirmed.

"Don't touch that bastard!" He yelled.

"Arthur." Ivan read, he chuckled and answered. "Hello? Can I help you?"

"Who is this?" Arthur questioned. "Where is Alfred?"

Ivan put a hand over the receiver.

"Do you want to speak with him?"

Alfred bit his lip, wondering if he should or not.

"Tell him, uh, j-just. . .no." He frowned. "I don't."

"I apologize, I found this phone on the street near Wong's China Feast." The Russian lied. "Let me leave it with the owner, you can come get it from him."

"Oh, I see." Arthur sighed. "Thank you. I will get it in the morning." He said, figuring Alfred had just dropped it while he was out partying.

Ivan hung up.

"Toris, did we wake you?" His distant gaze drifted passed Alfred. Toris had his eyes barely open looking at him. He moved his lips slowly.

"No." The weary man wheezed. "It is cold in here."

"I am sorry." Ivan took Alfred's coat and laid it over Toris, then his own. "That should help." He smiled.

"Braginski, untie me." Alfred demanded.

"You are, tied up?" Toris asked. He tried to sit up, but could not get his body to comply. "I will help you."

His two companions frowned at one another. Ivan bent down next to Alfred, undoing the ropes. If he ran, he would hunt him down and kill him.

"No, do not trouble yourself. I will do it." He said quietly. "Try to get more rest."

Free, Alfred sat up rubbing his wrists. They hurt and his hands were pale from lose of circulation. He turned and hugged Toris to him, giving him the last bit of warmth he had to offer.

"We are headed to your home country." Alfred told him softly, sharing a small subtle smile. "Does that make you happy?"

"Yes." The brunette smiled back. "We can visit mother and my old home. I would like to put flowers on her grave, lilies. They were her favorite. Maybe, you and I can pick some."

"Yeah pal, whatever you want."

"You are a good friend, Alfred." Toris whispered. "Can I ask you one favor?"

Alfred nodded.

"Do not let that man kill me."

"I promise, I will protect you." The blonde vowed.

The teen was preparing dinner in the kitchen. His hair pulled back and an apron tight around his waist. Toris enjoyed cooking for his sickly mother. He tried a spoonful and sighed, it was not special enough. It was too ordinary.

"Where is that special spice she likes?" He asked himself checking the cupboards. There was an unlabeled clear shaker on the shelf filled with off-white powder. Often he saw his mother add the spice to her plate, he had never tried it for himself. She had always said it was her special mommy spice. Toris smiled and shook some into the stew pot, stirring. "Maybe this will help."

He quickly ladled some into a bowl and took it down the hall to his mother's room. Toris knocked and she looked up from her book laying on the bed. She smiled.

"That smells delicious, my darling." Her voice was hoarse.

Toris blushed and walked to her bedside. "I hope it tastes good." He said placing it on her lap.

"I am sure it does." She giggled and took a small taste, her eyes went wide. "Sweetheart? What is in this?"

"The usual with a tad bit of that extra spice you like so much." His face beamed, proudly. She must really like it to make a face like that, he assumed.

"Honey, did you add it to the whole pot? Did you eat any of this?" She questioned, sounding worried.

"I put some into the w-whole pot, but I did not have any." He said, not understanding her concern. It was just a spice.

His mother grabbed his hand.

"Toris, you are never to use that spice again, do you understand me?" She warned. "You are deathly allergic to it, if you consume it, you will die."

"Y-yes mother, I will never use it again."

The sun had come up when Alfred opened his eyes again. Toris was still sleeping, he sat up and rubbed his eye yawning. Ivan was up as well looking out the window, he wondered if the man had spent the entire night watching him.

"We headed out soon?" Alfred asked, his stomach growled. He was starving. Even Arthur's food sounded good.

Ivan turned and gestured to the tray by the door. It was covered in an array of Chinese food.

"Yes, soon. Our plane boards in a few hours. If you are hungry, Wong brought us up some food from the restaurant, help yourself."

Alfred crawled to the tray and uncovered a plate of steamed dumpling. They smelled delicious. He picked one up and stuffed it into his mouth.

"Where did you get the money for this trip, anyways?" He was curious. "You've been in the asylum for like what, ten years?"

"My father." Braginski said. "He is in the human trafficking business. I hate the man, but he has agreed to help finance our expenses. There is a price, but I will take care of it. Once Toris is safe, I will leave him be. What you said that day was true, he is better off without me."

There was a moment of silence before Alfred spoke.

"Can we get some clothes off of your friend for Toris? If we are going to be seen in public, I don't think he should be wearing something covered in blood."

"Da. He left a kimono for him from his brothel. It is all he had." Ivan said, not entirely truthful. He held up a white kimono covered in yellow flowers. "Pretty, is it not?"

Alfred blushed.

"Toris is a man, idiot. He isn't going to want to wear that."

"No, Alfred." Toris interrupted, he was awake. His fever had went down and he was feeling better. He sat himself up and pushed away the coats. "It is very beautiful, thank you." He smiled as he stood, out-reaching to take the garment. Ivan let him have it and he dropped his gown. The scars over his body made Alfred cringe, especially the ones on his back. They were so deep and so vast. Alfred was not sure if he could ever get used to seeing them. He slipped the kimono over his head and began to fix it. He had never worn one before, he was not sure how to tie it with one hand.

Ivan saw his uncertainty and came behind him.

"It goes like this." He said softly. Gently he tied it for him properly and smoothed down his hair. "Lovely."

It was true, the man did look beautiful. Alfred starred, eyeing him up and down from his place on the floor. There was no-one like him in the world. His heart raced.

"Toris, I love you." He stated.

Toris's face went red.

"Alfred, I-I. . ." He looked down. "I have told you before, I do not feel that way towards you and I do not feel I ever will. I am sorry, but I admire your honesty."

"Why can't you love me? Am I not good enough for you?"

"N-no, I am just not in love with you. You are a good man, if anyone is not good enough, it is me." Toris said pointing to himself. "I do not understand why you even like me. I am suicidal, mentally unstable, and I injure myself for pleasure. It would be better if I never existed."

"Shut up! Don't even say shit like that!" Alfred yelled, getting to his feet. "Toris, you mean the world to me! I gave up my life so you can have one."

"I agree with Alfred. You are not being fare." Ivan said, frowning.

Toris's eyes narrowed.

"I did not ask either of you for help, did I?" He said harshly. "The moment I get the chance, I am going to kill myself."

"LIKE HELL YOU ARE!" Alfred snatched Toris by his collar. "Ungrateful idiot!"

Toris smiled.

"Do you know how my mother died?" He whispered. "She killed herself slowly with poison, I realized it after she died. I had even poisoned her myself without knowing. My own mother, the only family I had in this world did not want to stay around. When I disappeared for months, she did not even call the police to come look for me. She said she was in a coma!" His body shook, he laughed. "It all makes sense now."

"Toris, calm down!" Alfred smacked him across the face, he did not react as planned. Instead of calming, he only got more hysterical. "You told me not to let that FREAK kill you!"

"Hit me again, I like it." Toris grinned wider. "Beat me!"

"You heard him, Alfred." Ivan pulled Toris to the mattress and pushed him onto it. "Give him what he wants."

The American really did have the urge to hit the man again. How dare he say those things.

"No." He said looking down at Toris. This was not the man he had fallen for. "I will not hurt him." Alfred got down on his knees near Toris's feet, he lowered his head slowly and kissed the top of his foot.

With teary eyes, Toris shook his head.

"Stop, just beat me!" He cried.

"Do not try to act like someone your not." Alfred whispered. Ivan watched quietly as his Anastasia returned with just one gentle kiss.


	16. Chapter 16

Ivan did not know how he managed to do it. He was frustrated with himself. Alfred could calm Toris down, but he had yet to do so. When he did try, Toris was unhappy. What was so different between the two of them? Ivan was stronger, bigger, taller and he was not Alfred. Those qualities should have been well enough to weigh out the stupid American janitor, so Ivan thought.

"I-I am sorry Alfred." Said Toris, hiding his shame in his hand. "I am acting so un-rational."

Alfred examined the missing digits on his foot, flashing a glare over at the fatass Russian who was gawking at him.

"Hey pal, we all do stupid shit sometimes." He put on a smile for Toris' sake. "I once jumped off a cliff into a lake and smashed my head on a rock, cause I was trying to be cool."

Ivan laughed from across the room.

Toris looked out from between his fingers, his eyes glistening green.

"Were you injured badly?"

"Yeah, uh, pretty bad." Alfred pointed to the spot his hair stuck up at. "The scar has faded allot but, I busted my head open right here. That's why this patch of hair grows funny."

"I can rip it out for you." Ivan smiled.

"No!" Exclaimed Toris. "I like it, it suits you." He blushed.

"Thanks."

"We better head to the airport." The larger man picked up a steamed bun and placed it into Toris's hand. "Eat this. You need to keep your strength up for the trip."

He ate it slowly, taking small bites.

The young Ivan awoke. His body aching and bruised head to toe. He crawled for the steps and slowly climbed up. He had to get Anastasia somewhere his father could not get to him. It would be impossible. His father was too powerful and had too many connections. He would eventually find them. Ivan pulled himself to his feet and stumbled into the kitchen.

The man was there, in a drunken slumber. The table was covered in spilt vodka from the bottle in his hand. Ivan glared, he was enraged. He had insulted his mother, he had molested him, raped him, and abused him ever since he could remember. The feelings he had for him were not love as he once thought, but of hate.

A knife gleamed on the counter. The long serrated blade called to him. Finally the temptation became too much. He took the kitchen utensil and sent it through his father's lantern. Shattering the flame beneath the delicate paper and hurling it into darkness forever.

Ivan smiled. "Come now." He gestured to the door, hurrying out and down the steps. Alfred and Toris followed suit. A dark car was parked in the side alley. It was different from the one from the night previously. A tall man with glasses stepped out, fully clothed in black. His hair was blonde and hung just above his brow.

"Who the hell is this?" Alfred asked looking at the man with suspicion, keeping Toris behind him.

"Eduard." Greeted Ivan. "Look at you, you've grown since I last saw you. How is Raivis?"

The man kept his ivy eyes down and lips shut. He opened the backseat door for the three of them. Ivan frowned and looked back at his uncertain comrades.

"We are going with this dude?" Alfred smirked. "You got to be kidding me."

"My master is a very powerful man, Mr. Jones." The driver said in monotone. "He knows more about you, than you do yourself." He pushed his glasses farther up his nose and starred blankly at the American. "I researched you myself and my profile of you is very thorough. If you would like to test me, do so now. I am not fond of games and wish to get it over with before our trip commences."

Alfred glared.

"You mother fucking spy."

"Lets get in." Toris whispered, pulling his on Alfred's hand. They got inside and the door was shut behind them. The locks dropped down. There were no handles in the inside. "Looks like we have no choice but to go with this man."

Alfred watched Ivan and the blonde talking. He could not hear them over the opera music playing in the car.

"Dammit, I know they are talking about us." Alfred punched the back of the seat.

Ivan walked behind the car, Alfred's eyes followed him. Behind them had pulled up a similar vehicle. The Russian got inside.

"He is not coming with us?" Toris asked.

"Pfft, doubt he is going to let us go that easily."

The car containing Ivan drove past them and Eduard got into the drivers seat.

"Excuse me, um, sir?"

The man ignored Toris.

"Asshole! Answer when someone speaks to you!" Alfred kicked his seat. The car stopped at the traffic light.

"Mr. Jones, I would behave yourself." Eduard warned. "My master is always watching. Even as we speak. He was not expecting you to be involved and so, he has asked Mr. Braginski to come and talk about the payment."

"What is this payment?" Toris asked curiously. Looking into the driver's mirror to see the man's face. The glare on his glasses hid his eyes.

"It is best if you do not know."

"This 'master' of yours sounds like a creeper." Alfred folded his arms. "I guess he is Braginski's old man, not really a surprise. The apple apparently does not fall far from the tree."

"You should not say those things. This man is helping us." Toris said elbowing his arm. "We appreciate you and your, um, master's help. Thank you both." He smiled.

Alfred's heart thumped.

"Right." He blushed at his smile. "This guy lives around here?"

"He flew in last night." Eduard sighed. "There are blind folds in the ashtray, please put them on. It is for your own safety."

Toris grabbed them and handed them to Alfred.

"Will you put this on me, please?" He asked. "I do not think I can manage it by myself."

Alfred nodded and slipped the black cloth over his emerald eyes. He tied it securely and pocketed his glasses doing the same for himself. A few moments later, the car was parked and the door on Alfred's side was opened. Eduard had switched to a dark pair of sunglasses. He took hold of the Alfred's shirt.

"Get out. I will lead you in." He said.

Alfred took Toris by the wrist. They formed somewhat of a trian into a rundown old brick building. It was dark inside and smelled of mildew. Eduard lead them down a narrow hallway and up a flight of stairs. At the top was a large room. The red striped wallpaper was peeling off the walls. Water stains spotted the wood floor and the few pieces of furniture were either molded or broken. Three steel folding chairs were placed before a wooden desk. It was missing one of its legs, causing it to stand crooked. One of the seats was taken by Ivan. A chandelier with only a single working bulb was above him.

Eduard helped Alfred and Toris into their chairs.

"Sorry about this." Ivan spoke softly to Alfred next to him, head hung. He was without a blind fold. "It should not take long."

"So this is them?" A deep scratchy voice said. Heavy footsteps came from behind them. "I can see why you find this one so attractive." The large man with an eyepatch lifted Toris' chin. "So beautiful." He examined his half covered face with his single mauve eye.

"Please, do not touch him." Ivan glared. "You agreed not to mess with him, if I gave you what you wanted."

"Yes, but that was before this one showed up in the picture." The man released Toris and pat Alfred on the top of the head. Alfred growled and shook him off. "You owe me more than just two, boy." He chuckled deeply.


	17. Chapter 17

"I can get you another, but not theirs. Please, do not take theirs." Ivan pleaded, he stood. The man nodded towards the door and two buff men came in. They restrained Ivan to his seat, tying his hands. "STOP! DON'T!"

"What is going on?" Alfred asked, reaching for his fold.

The two men proceeded to tying their hands as well. Alfred thrashed, Toris did not move a mussel. He understood what was happening.

"Raivis, I want to examine their lanterns." Said the man grinning.

A blonde came in, mouth covered with a mask. One of his chilly blue eyes was missing and his lid had been sewn closed. He took the blind folds off Alfred and Toris. Alfred gasped at the sight of the man.

"WHAT THE FUCK?" He exclaimed.

"Alfred, quiet." Toris said coldly. He looked the one eyed man dead in the eye. His emerald eyes gleamed. "Take mine."

"That is quite an offer." The man chuckled and brushed his messy hair to the side. He pulled a cigar from his pocket. Raivis quickly walked over and lit it for him. The tip grew red as he inhaled. "However, one of yours is damaged." He exhaled. "I am sure it was the boy's fault. He was always damaging my property before bringing lanterns to me."

"You're a sick man." Alfred glared.

"The American has an interesting blue color, but I have so many blues in my collection." The man took another drag talking to himself. "I will take the green, both of them."

"NO!" Ivan protested.

His father walked in front of him and snatched his hair. He read the pain on his face and was delighted.

"I will have you watch me remove his. Then once I have taken yours, I will put his lanterns in their place. Being my blood, I am sure you admire them." He smiled and leaned close to Ivan's ear. "Finally, you will obtain them."

"They will not be as beautiful." Ivan said. "Please, take someone else's."

"I do not have to go with him!" Alfred exclaimed. "I'll stay behind!"

"It is too late, child." The man cooed, looking over at him. "Raivis, take this one ahead. He can reunite with his comrade at the house I have prepared."

The blonde nodded and the two large dark haired men pulled Alfred out of the room.

"STOP! TORIS, DON'T DO IT!" Yelled Alfred, being drug down the steps. His voice got farther and farther away, until it was no longer audible.

"Now then, we should get this over with quickly. I have to be back in Russia around five." With a sigh, the tall man flicked out his cigar and went to the desk. There was a thin black case. He flipped it open and revealed the shiny silver medical tools inside. Toris looked away, he reconized most of them. In medical school he had to memorize such things. One was used to keep the eyelids open, while another that looked simular to a scooper took the eyes out of the socket and cut the eye free. His stomach turned.

"Father, I beg of you. If I knew you were going to do this, I never would have asked for your help." Ivan felt betrayed. "It does not cost any more for Alfred to go in my stead!"

His father smirked. "Can I tell you the truth, boy?" He said picking up a tool from his case. "Once I found out you and sister were still alive, I almost sent someone out to kill you both. That is, until I heard this boy was still alive as well." The object sparkled. "Toris, do you love this man?"

"No." Toris said truthfully. "I do not love him. I can not even say that I like him, but he did try to help me. I appreciate his help, even if we got into this mess. It seems it was not his fault though. I think you mislead him."

"Ungrateful." The man glared and removed his belt, belting the brunette across the face. It hit with a loud crack.

"STOP!" Ivan growled. "Do not touch him."

"You may beat me all you want. It will not change my opinion." Toris starred at the ceiling. "I have wanted to die for a while now. I am a target, I do not know why, but my whole life I have been walking around with a bullseye on my forehead. This incident does not surprise me, in fact I was expecting something like this." He raised his arms, the rope had slipped off his wrist. "I am not even trying to run anymore."

The man laughed, leaning on the table.

"I admit, he is an interesting creature." He fixed his suit and walked to stand before Toris, holding out the medical tool to him. "I will make you a deal. If you can remove his lanterns, I let you go with yours."

Toris took the silver object and stood, trance like.

"Ivan." He said using the tool to clamp open one of Ivan's lids. "This is my revenge." His hand out reached for another tool. The man handed it to him, making haste.

Ivan was still, letting Toris do as he wished.

"I deserve no less, my Anastasia."

The tool scooped around his orb and Toris starred into Ivan's mauve colored eye for the last time. His grip tightened and the lantern went out. He tossed it onto the desk, blood splattering the top as the orb rolled to a stop.

Toris threw the tools aside and wiped the blood from Ivan's face with his kimono sleeve. It ran down his face, pooling behind his lid. His head went limp.

"The other you can take from me." Toris said quietly. He brushed Ivan's hair back, letting him rest.

The man seized him by the throat from behind. Toris gasped and felt a searing pain on the side of his face.

"How dare you tell me what to do." Growled the large Russian.

The room spun and danced, then it went dark.

The youth made his way down the creaky dark hallway and scrambled up on the bed. A woman lay sleeping. Her long dark hair spilled out on the pillows. The movement awakened her. She sat up in her bed.

"Toris what is wrong?" His mother asked wrapping her arms around him.

"I cannot sleep." The child sniffled, rubbing his eyes with the sleeve of his white silky nightgown. "The dark is too scary."

She ran her fingers through his brown hair and smiled.

"My dearest, you have nothing to fear." The wind blew from the open widow, blowing the sheer curtains in. " Even in the darkest of dark, there is still light to be found." She covered his eyes with her hands. "Paint your own world using the darkness as your canvas. Imagine what you can create inside that beautiful mind of yours. Tell me, what do you see?"

"I-I see you in a garden." The boy said, smiling. "It is spring and the flowers just bloomed for the first time."


	18. Chapter 18

Alfred awoke with his head pounding. His mouth felt like cotton and the glasses on his face were missing in action. He pushed himself up from the carpeted floor. Although his vision was poor, he could still make out that he was in a small house. It was furnished in homey oak and white furniture. The walls were a pale yellow and he could see the bright blue sky through an open window across the room. He rubbed his eyes and stood, steading himself on one of the two armchairs arranged around the coffee table.

"T-Toris?" He called out, in a raspy voice.

There was a loud crash from somewhere in the house. Alfred went to investigate, squinting his eyes. Standing in the tiny kitchen was an unwanted acquaintance. The large looming figure had his back turned and was making something on the stove. A broken plate was in the sink.

"You frightened me." Ivan spoke softly, stirring the pot. "I am sure you are thirsty after your trip. There is milk in the fridge. Please, help yourself. I do not want to burn the stew."

Alfred hurried his way to the fridge and drank deeply from the milk carton. He wiped his mouth and slammed the container on the table, glaring at the man's backside.

"Where is Toris?"

The Russian continued to stir.

"Upstairs in his bedroom."

"How long has it been?"

"Nearly three days. Your glasses are on the table, careful throwing stuff around. What if they break?"

Ignoring the fact that he could have died from dehydration, Alfred snatched his glasses and wondered up the staircase. The upstairs was small. Three doors branched off from a small hallway. He opened the door to the right, thrilled he had chosen correctly. Laying in bed was a small figure. He was tucked in with care. Alfred hurried to Toris' side. His face was covered in layers of bloodstained bandages.

"Toris." Alfred said in a whisper.

"A-Alfred?" Toris jolted up, his bangs swaying forwards. He felt with his hand the man beside him. Alfred took hold of it and squeezed gently. "I did not know you were here. Ivan has been taking care of me and every time I asked about you, he said n-not to...a-and...I thought you were..." His breathing was becoming unsteady.

Alfred hugged the small man firmly.

"Shhhh..." He hushed, running fingers through his silky brunette hair. "I am here now."

They were both quiet.

"You can look." Toris stated breaking the silence.

"Wh-what?...I-I shouldn't." Alfred blushed. "I. . .I do not have to know."

"Alfred, I want you to look."

Hesitantly Alfred unwrapped the bandages that hid Toris's damaged face. He undid them slowly, uncovering the horror that laid beneath. Stretched across his face was a thick line of blistered over flesh. The burn had taken away his lashes and brows, leaving his eyes swollen shut. A yellowish ooze leaked from the corners and from the open blisters on his lids. It custed on the backs of the bandages turning them a golden color.

"I do not know if I will be able to see once it heals." Toris said, touched the tender area gently. "If I cannot, I have a favor to ask of you."

"Yes?"

"I want you to be my eyes."

"Of course." Alfred eyes teared over and he brushed the bangs back from his injured friend's face. "Anything for you."

"KNOCK KNOCK." Ivan announced loudly from the doorframe. He came in holding a bowl of soup. Toris quickly held the bandages back to his face. "Tsk, tsk, Toris." He walked over to the two of them. His hair has arranged in such a manner as to hid half his face. A small black band wrapped around the back of his head. He sat down the dish and fixed the bandages tightly. "Do not mess with it, or it will not heal properly."

"So you say." Toris chuckled. His smile was genuine.

"Here, eat." Ivan placed the bowl in his lap and a spoon in his hand. "Careful."

"I will be alright, I will have to get used to eating one handed eventually." He spooned in a bite and swallowed. "Very good stew. You are becoming quite the chef." Toris smiled.

The large man was flattered and his face turned scarlet.

"I did like you said and stirred the whole time it cooked this time." Ivan smiled back.

"I can tell."

Alfred was lost, when did they become such good friends?

"I see your missing something." He smirked at Ivan.

"Careful, or you may be missing something in a moment." Ivan said darkly.

"I took it." Toris said sipping at his stew.

"Y-you?" Alfred gulped, in disbelief. "What?"

"Now me and Ivan are even. We plan on killing his father in the future." Toris explained. "Would you like some stew too?"

"K-kill. . .Toris, you can't be serious!" Gasped Alfred, mouth hanging open.

"Yes." Said Toris, taking another bite. "I believe hunting and killing filth like him in this world is much more effective than my old occupation. Do you not agree?"

"You are not a murderer." Alfred said sternly.

"Oh, but I am. Did you forget what I did?"

"That was self defense!"

"It was still murder, Alfred." Toris sighed.

"Why can't you just live and be happy? Why do you need to go looking for revenge anyway?" Questioned Alfred. "Let me make you happy!"

"I am sorry, but nothing you can do will give me the same satisfaction." The smaller man leaned on Alfred's shoulder. "I am sorry you were pulled into this with me, I will not be upset if you go back to your brother."

"NO!" Alfred exclaimed. "I will not go back. Not unless you are by my side and back to normal!"

"There is no going back for me. I have ventured too far. The person I once was is gone, I can no longer go back."

"Then I will drag you back." Growled Alfred and leaned close to Toris. "Whether you want to or not." He clumsy met his lips, kissing him forcefully. Toris resisted, then relaxed. He returned the kiss, nearly knocking over the stew onto the bed.

Ivan contained himself and quickly left before he could give into his desire to punch Alfred in the face. He leaned against the hallway wall and breathed deeply, his fists balled tight at his sides.


End file.
